[Solved] A visit from Cafcass

...I don't think they inspect all the rooms, they just want to see your son in his home environment I would imagine. Usually they do this when they are considering what to recommend as far as the child having contact in the home. It might help to show you have an awareness of the child's needs etc. in younger children that would be things like stair gates and an awareness of general safety measures.

If you have a spare room you could think about making it child friendly or at least talk about your plans to do so when she is finally allowed to have contact with you all at home... A place for her toys and a room that girly maybe!

Happened to me a long time ago - it was to make sure that the environment was suitable, and that the children had their own space (which was very temporary at the time, but the officer accepted that it was sufficient and that we were making plans to give them their own proper space. I think it's more that the officer just gets a feel that it's right.

Thanks both. Not totally child friendly at the moment but I am sure we can sort that quick enough once we know when they are coming. Don't have a spare room for her but my eldest is in the process of buying his first home, so will have a room for her very shortly.

I'm just doing a guide to deal with with these scumbags you've got to be so careful, like the previous post said make sure the place is child friendly child gates ect, lock on the cuboard under the sink where the chemicals are, they won't check every room but just make sure there's a room comfortable so the child has a sense of his/her own space, even ask him to put up pics of the ex so it looks like he values her as the mother of his child I know it's sad but they do pick up on the most smallest of things, You have to be careful one dude had a visit and the officer went to the toilet and said the shampoo's ect were within grasping distance of the child and that he had no plug socket protectors around the house which all went into the report!

I'll get my [censored] into gear and do my Guide on dealing with them.

Slim 🙂

Right Guy's & Girl's I thought it was about time that I done a How to deal with Cafcass guide as I'd hate for anyone to be caught out by them like me.

If you have read any of my previous posts on here then you will know the experience I've had with them and to be honest I never want to speak to anyone in that stinking organisation again for as long as I live I can't tell you how much I hate them but I will just tell you how it is 🙂

As far as I'm concerned Cafcass hold more weight in court than anyone as the Judges & Magistrates go off all their recommendations when it boils down to it so here's a do & don't guide when you deal with them whether it's a phone interview, a one to one interview or an observation or home visit.

DO - Fully co-operate with the enquiry, suck eggs and help them as much as possible, if you've got anything hidden in the closet be open and straight and tell the truth because your ex is sure as [censored] too and you don't want anything biting you in the [censored].

DO - Ask them how they are going to proceed with your case like how many interviews will they be, are they going to do a home visit how many meeting they will be and how long, you need to know so you are prepared.

DO - Remember they are only interested in the welfare of the Children so show them you are a good parent and offer examples of evidence to prove it I sent in B.day cards, Fathers day cards ect before hand so they were already there. Deny any allegations that you have had made against you politely with out getting angry. Remember you can't give them any reason to think you may be a threat to your Child/Children.

DO - BE COMPLETELY CHILD FOCUSED!!!! Mention when you have taken care of your child, what you have done with them how you play with them and how having you in your life will enrich theirs, what pleasure they gain how happy they are, tell them how hands on you like been such as feeding changing nappies ect if they are babies or how you help them with homework ect if they are a little older, try and point out things you can help them with which mums not to up on like technical things, making things, doing sports or activities.

DO - Be bold assertive and articulate come across as open minded and willing to be flexible on what Cafcass recommend as it's in the best interests of your child at the end of the day that Daddy is strong and focused.

DO - Try and co-operate with the other parent (hard I know!!!) At the end of the day it takes two to tango so face up to your mistakes and tell the officer that maybe you got things wrong but you are willing to work with the Mother for the sake of your child as this will put your ex on the back foot and it will come across to the officer how unreasonable one party is being so you don't want that to be you!!!

DO - Make sacrifices, If your doing 100 hours a week to support your kids don't mention it as the officer would rather you be home with your child as much as possible. If you have still got a Drink/Drugs problem seek help in giving up ASAP as it will get used against you trust me I know and at the end of the day your child isn't going to want a druggy or an alcoholic as a father at the end of the day.

DO - Be prepared! Know what questions you want to ask and prepare to deny any allegations of what your ex may bring up again if you have proof take it along or send it in before hand. Be realistic in what you would like times to see your kids ect at xmas b,days and the like remembering your ex too as your child has a right to equal time with the both of you remember you don't want to come across as controlling be prepared to except less but ask for more before hand so it looks like your prepared to back down.

DO - Mention the wider family when going through court it's not only the non resident parent who doesn't see the child it's half their family too so mention their nieces, nephews, Aunts and Uncles who would like to be there for the child my Mum wrote a letter to court which went down well in support of my application.

DO - Be brief don't argue every detail, accusation these Officers are very busy and won't have enough time (they repeatedly tell you this!)
Say to the reporter would you like me to go into detail this shows you can back up a claim without waffling on.

DO - Seen cool calm relaxed and in control let your ex do all the screaming and shouting now this is hard not to do so do your best to chill out and not get stressed focus on your child and focus on getting a good report the officer will be watching your every move body language the lot don't let your feelings take over and lose control.

DO - Have a child friendly home have a cheerful bedroom for them if you have a one bed flat like me then get a sofa bed for you bang a little cot or bed in the room a few cuddly toys ect a child needs a loving comfortable place they can call their own take pics and take them in with you if they don't do a visit, I did and it worked wonders. Put up child friendly posters, have toy boxes so they have a sense of ownership have family photos every where even ones of your ex to show you value her for your child (thats a tough one I know throw some darts at it when they've gone) Keep medicins out of reach, sharp knives use child gates, secure fires plug sockets ect and loose cables, scatter children's videos and books near the tv video and your books.

Right I think that about covers it for the Do list so now for the Dont's......

DON"T - Slag off the ex what ever you do, don't sling mud [censored] moan argue nothing just say it's become difficult to communicate because they won't be interested at all. You don't want your anger to over take your children's needs. If there is genuine concerns by all means bring them up but don't dwell on them as they may think you are been malicious towards your ex as you've been stopped from seeing your child.

DON"T - Be petty don't get bogged down with accusations look to the bigger picture and always keep the best interest of the child at the forefront of everything and work towards helping the Mother if you can.

DON'T - Over prepare don't fly in there with reams and reams of folders of evidence letters, text messages, phone recordings you will come across as an aggressive nut job remember keep everything short and sweet and to the point save all that for the court bundle.

DON'T - Play the lawyer and play legal games it won't wash it will look like your trying to score points.

DON'T - Mention this or any other Dad site you are on Fathers for Justice have given us all a bad name in the eyes of the Cafcass officers
They just think we're a bunch of bridge swinging supermen lol

DON'T - Be afraid to change and make sacrifices unfortunately you're going to have to work [censored] hard to be a part of your Childs life so except you may have to change your lifestyle for your Child.

DON'T - Misread the Officers friendliness or Hostility as you'll be getting a good bad report you honestly don't know what they will do.

DON'T - Issue ultimatums don't say I'm leaving the country, this is all not worth it or anything like that it will not was and it will be used against you in the report and court.

Well I think that's about it but if I do remember anything else I will edit the point's in as I'm not too on the ball after my latest trip Dj'ing in Ibiza although I will say try and not let the whole thing consume you and take over your life, get out there enjoy life, go places meet people do a hobby anything to take your mind off things my blow out is dj'ing and travelling it's done me the world of good and helped me cope all so offering help and support to other Dads on her helps a lot.

Take care and good luck.

Slim 🙂

Cheers Slim