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Hey everybody.
This is going to be a little taboo here, as this is a dad forum.. and I am posting on behalf of a deeply concerned mum. The reason I am posting here is because I don't know where to go to seek for advice and you guys have helped me a lot with my own issues in the past.
Basically, my ex-partner contacted me today. She has epilepsy and a 3 year old child. Her seizures have increased significantly over the past few months. Last Thursday my ex-partner had a seizure and was admitted to hospital whilst she had her child. The dad came to pick up the child and is now refusing to let my ex-partner have her child back. Now, it is my understanding that it is well within his rights to do this, as he has PR. I also completely understand the fathers position as he fears for the safety of his son (as i would with my daughter). The dad is refusing to let the mother see her child apart from 1 hour a week at his residence. He obviously fears that she will carry out the same actions that he, himself has. But that seems a little unjust.
Apart from the health issues that the mother has, she is a fantastic mum and provides for her child in every way possible. She also has a carer that helps with certain issues. The dad previously had the child on 1 day during the week and 1 day on the weekend (he did have two days during the weekend and one day during the week, but he volunteered to have one less day on the weekend) . He was contributing as he should. This is a difficult scenario and I am unsure what advice to give to the mother. Obviously she wants her child back with her and obviously he wants the child with him.
Am I correct in thinking that the next step is mediation to sort this out, or is this a legal issue straight away that needs a solicitors input (or even police IDK)? There is currently no residence order in place.
I am concerned for all parties involved.. the mother, the father and the child.. I don't know where to go with this one and although it is not my problem, I still feel like I should help how ever I can.
Regards,
Andy
Hi Andy
Mediation would be the first step and after that court I'm afraid. She could apply for an urgent child arrangements order for residence and then she wouldn't need to attend mediation and I guess the sooner she can get this into court, the better for her...if it's left a few months (which would be the case to get mediation and court concluded) that might set the precedent and the court might think that they shouldnt unsettle her again by putting her back with her mum.
We are happy to help any parent that needs advice and support, we're not gender biased here! 🙂
Hi Andy,
As already said we aren't just focused on dads we help anyone who needs it.
I would agree with Mojo as there isn't a residency order in place I don't think the father has done anything "legally" wrong but if the mother has been able to cope up until this point and has a carer in place for certian things then I don't see why she can't care for her daughter she has done for the past 3 years.
I would say look at the urgent child arrangements order for residence I would imagine that her daughter is quite unsettled by this already let alone getting used to it and then it changing again.
GTTS
cheers guys. She has been to a solicitor, apparently they think there is no need to go to mediation first. Can you guys clarify something for me?
The solicitor said:
1. That she will be entitled to legal aid because she is in receipt of DLA. Can anybody confirm this?
2. The dad is discriminating against the mother because of her epilepsy. Is this also true?
Regards,
Andy
I haven't heard of DLA exemption before, it might be worth giving the legal aid board a ring.
I'm not sure what your second question is - it does sound like that is what the father is claiming. Your solicitor will hopefully have experience with this.
As has been said, Mediation is mandatory, except in urgent, no notice or cases where there has been domestic violence. This doesn't apply in Scotland.
If your ex partner lives in Scotland then she will be entitled to legal aid as she is in receipt of DLA, but not in the UK I'm afraid.
The child's welfare must be paramount and that would be the fathers arguement against allegations of discrimination. If he felt that the child was at risk because of the mothers deteriorating health and subsequent hospitalisation I can't see how the discrimination arguement could be used effectively.
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