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Hello all.
(Please do delete if not allowed)
After reading through a lot of this forum and being on the receiving end of an unfair system, it is evident that a lot of people are in the same boat.
Jilted bitter ex partners are using a flawed and broken system to punish ex's and manipulate the course of divorce.
Many of us have jumped through every hoop and tried to achieve fairness by using the legal system as it is meant to be used, however this is often met with false allegations of abuse, Non-Molestation Orders, False safeguarding reports, parental alienation, extortionate child maintenance fees and using children as weapons throughout an already devastating ordeal.
It is no wonder why so many "what seems to be mainly fathers" fall into ruin. Fathers For Justice threw this into the lime light with their public displays, however the system is still broken and being manipulated to keep parents from their children and empty their bank accounts.
More needs to be done to hold the family courts to account, to re-evaluate how child arrangements are taken care of, how child maintenance is addressed and most importantly more needs to be done to give loving parents the ability to be fairly in their children's lives.
Partners that use the system by making false allegations and using children as a tool to suite their own needs need to be made accountable for their devastating actions. Not only are these kinds of actions horrifically detrimental to the receiving partner and the children but they also waste valuable court time and make the process a lot harder for people that have actually been on the receiving end of real abuse.
What can be done to bring this all to light?
Just scanning through this forum their seems to be plenty of evidence that can be gathered to support any petition to fix this process.
As a whole can people going through this band together and try to make the necessary changes to an outdated flawed system?
Where do you even start to ensure this is taken seriously by the appropriate persons?
I know this seems like a rant from a disgruntled parent, but it really isn't. The injustices of the divorce process have been made very clear to me and strongly feel that this should no longer be allowed to continue and I am sure that many others feel the same way.
I beg of you all to discuss this and seriously consider what can be done to help so that future divorcees do not have to go through this.
Thank you all for your time.
I think there should be many changes in many areas for fathers.
Child maintenance needs looking into they just look into the gross earning but not look at the living cost , how much it is to rent in the country, I am living with a friend as too much is coming out of my wage for me to be able to afford to live by myself now. Paying off debts that my ex put me into
More needs to be done about mothers who stop their kids seeing the father just because they can and using the kids as a weapon if you don’t do this or that then you don’t see them again
To get access to my own kids a I had to take a loan out to pay for everything to get them
when I do have the kids I still get the mother threatening she going to pick them up because she does not like my partner being involved in their lives which is now causing a big strain on our relationship as just arguing with my ex every time I have my kids.
It’s getting to the point where I am at the point of quitting my job and declaring myself homeless and to file for bankruptcy, I have days where I feel like just totally giving up because there is no justice for dad who wants to be in their kids lives
@frenwind I am extremely sorry to hear that you are going through this. Your situation is very familiar though and I understand where you are coming from. Sometimes the easier option would be to simply give up but we need to keep that fight in us strong for our children sake. One day they will see how much their fathers cared for them and fought for them.
This is my exact point. there are so many people on the receiving end of this situation. So something needs to be done.
I believe one of the challenges we all face is dealing with our own personal ordeals and difficulties. My life has been completely upended since I applied to the court for more time with my children. I've been accused of various forms of abuse—sexual, financial, and emotional. I haven't seen or heard from my 10 year old daughter in 10 months. She was and is my world.
Despite being thoroughly investigated and cleared of all allegations, there's been no acknowledgment or apology. Without the support of my new wife, I would have fallen into deep depression. You just have to find a way to move on and keep going.
For me, once this ordeal is "over," I just want to live a peaceful life. I think this sentiment resonates with a lot of fathers. The process is so incredibly exhausting and painful that by the time you've reached a point of acceptance or come to an agreement, you’re left with no energy or willpower to fight to change the system.
I want the system to change 100% but I know it is a huge uphill battle and I'm currently still in a battle of my own.
Any suggestions of actions we can take are welcome. I know my current wife (not the ex) will rally for change and action things for me, but personally I have nothing left and I want to better my life, not be dragged further into this completely corrupt system anymore.
Changing the system requires coordination and, ultimately, strong leadership. That’s how I see it, at least.
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