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Hey guys...
We’ve had a couple of good results this week, so I thought it would be a good idea to pin them in a sticky, as a source of encouragement and inspiration for members that are struggling to see any light at the end of the tunnel!
Please try not to comment here on this thread, I’ve provided a link to the actual thread on each post, if you want to make comments there. Let’s just keep it clear for the success stories.
If you’ve got a great result please share it here! 🙂
Ldad’s Result!
https://www.dad.info/forum/legal-eagle/51003-final-hearing-cafcass-to-attend
Hi All,
I just wanted to give an update on my partners experience...
He had his final hearing that was meant to last a day and was probably the shortest hearing of them all! Prior to this we had been in and out of court for 3-4 years (in order) injunction against my partner (3 years ago) , child arrangement (3 years ago), injuntion against my partner (2 years ago), enforcement (2 years ago), variance to child arrangement order (1 year ago) and finally the variance to the current child arrangement has been finalised! (BTW injuctions were ruled out) - The final application included a S7 report and dragged on for a year from the date of application but my partner wanted:
Friday - sunday alternate weekends
Share travel arrangements
Indirect contact midweek (due to distance - if we lived closer he would have asked for direct contact)
Half of all school holidays
Alternate christmas
Alternate childs birthday
Mothers/Fathers day respectively and parents birthday regardless who child is scheduled to be with
Take child abroad
His final hearing as mentioned followed S7 report that was in his favour for all the points above (except childs birthday there was no comment in the report)
As of the new school year, my partner will have his child dropped off Friday 5:30pm every other weekend and he is to return 7:30pm sunday.
There was nothing in the order about indirect contact once a week (but this has been ongoing for about 6 months)
Half of school holidays Easter, Summer and Christmas (no mention of half terms) - Summer is to have a 1 week block and a 2 week block
Mothers/Fathers day to be spent with the relevant parent
(no mention of childs birthday - even though both parents agreed this should be alternate so hopefully mother will stick to this)
(no mention of parents birthday - again both parents agreed child should spend it with relevant parent - hopefully mother will stick to this)
My partner is able to take his child abroad with immediate effect
Lastly as his ex is expecting he offered half of christmas day so his child can spend it with their new sibling and this was agreed in court that both parents would half christmas days if a new sibling is born that year. However it was only reflected in the order that he must give up half his christmas this year and nothing about future of our kids.
All in all as of september he has got a lot of what he wanted and i thought it was important to share the good endings especially on this site that has helped us through! And if im honest 3 years ago when he was granted the bare minimum ( 4 hours here and there increasing to 6 hours then a day etc) and the mother refusing to follow the order I never thought we would be where we are with an order of what he wanted - but in our case the childs age made a big difference especially with the amount of allegations put against my partner.
I just wanted to say a big thank you to those that contributed to my posts and helped when we really were struggling to find any hope - esp Mojo
I hope other dads fighting - especially those where we were 3 years ago will see that there can be good endings and even though its tough its possible even though you feel its not!
hopefully our experience can help others - I'm here for those that have any q's
Thanks again to this site
robbyboi86’s result!
www.dad.info/forum/welcome-to-the-forum/51142-thanks-for-the-help
Afternoon all
Used this website a year ago to get info on what I needed to do to get my contact order in place and it all worked out great didn't even need a solicitor
Cheers guys
Hi guys,
My success story
https://www.dad.info/forum/welcome-to-the-forum/49877-my-success-story
Hello all,
So I've just finished the final hearing yesterday and I have to say it has gone as well as could be expected. While I'm no expert and in some ways my ex was a lot less difficult than others on here, I hope a positive story will boost the moral of other guys going through the process.
So little one was born 9 months ago, I was not allowed at the birth, scans etc and not named on the birth certificate, I was told I was lucky to be even told he was born.
When I knew the last day for registering the birth was up I contacted mediator ex refused, court form went in, she then stopped contact, I added c100 form, mum completed c1a every type of abuse all lies or vast extravagantion this continued from her throughout.
No contact for about 7 weeks, at first hearing her barrister agreed to parental responsibility, I said great but I want the birth certificate she refused, judge agreed with me, weekly contact centre 2 hours agreed, section 7 ordered.
Mum refused 2 hours after court said 1 I accepted until he was settled. Section 7 completed very positive. Next hearing judge told mum to allow 2 hours and give doctor plus childminder info.
Final hearing 6 months after first, more attacks by mum judge rejected all moved contact away from centre and overnights from 18 months mum wanted 6 more months at centre and overnight at 3 years.
My feelings about success, I self represented as I feel you can much better get your points across, don't attack mother in fact I always said what a great job she was doing, be realistic I would love shared care but knew it would not be granted, also as my house is not suitable and I have little experience I asked for contact to start at my mums, be positive tell the court things you enjoy about your visits, I'm sure they get anger all day and don't give up it can be done
J
Hubs's Story and it’s a corker! He got his child relocated back after the child had been moved away! Impressive... well done Hubs!
https://www.dad.info/forum/legal-eagle/51118-internal-relocation-cases-case-law
Hi all,
I have successfully completed a long court case (took 2 years) of a child relocation case.
Mother moved my son about 300 miles away from me, and I thought it would be useful to quote case law and other material that was used to successful relocate my child back within 5 miles of me!
It can be done, but is expensive and takes time. You also need a good barrister who understands case law rather than a pure LIP, use the direct access barrister website to find one or private message me for suggestions.
Useful case law used in my case:
Re C (Internal Relocation) [2015] EWCA Civ 1305, [2016] Fam 253
Internal Relocation: Appeal) [2016] EWCA Civ 1016, [2017] 2 FLR 921 (“Re R”)
Re F (International Relocation: Welfare Analysis) [2015] EWCA Civ 882, [2017] 1 FLR 979
The overiding factor in the cases is that the focus must be on what’s best for the child as per welfare checklist.
Here’s Diamonds story... a successful challenge to false allegations. Great work Diamond!
https://www.dad.info/forum/legal-eagle/51161-all-allegations-dismissed-non-mol-dropped
Right- thought I'd give an update on my situation:
Baby born in July 2017, initial contact, private DNA done and started giving maintenance. Oct 2017, babys mother stops contact, disappears and not located (in new area 2 hours drive away) until Sept 2018- Police involved, no further action, allegations of DV made.
I had a non molestation order served on me in Sept last year- I contested this the week later (she turned up with barrister, solicitor, someone from church a DV counsellor and minute taker). I said to Judge I would rather not have the counsellor sit in court after being asked if I minded.
I've been self representing (my job involves criminal Law, so I have an idea of court process, know how to give/produce evidence, produce statements, etc) and am proud to say I have not spent a penny on Legal assistance.
December appearance in Family court saw her make allegations I broke the order- final hearing put off till Feb.
Feb appearance saw accusations against friends and family as well as more dates in which I broke the order- Costs awarded to me, although I dropped the ball by saying I will pay for a court approved DNA test (Judge would've likely split it both ways)- £500 to do a new test. £400 for DNA clinic and £100 to her GP.
She now changes solicitor (she moved), changes GP. Re appeared in March, new statements from family and friends- she gave witness evidence (character assassination) and this final hearing was now extended after the whole day involved her talking.
April the Final hearing (finally)- I took the stand and gave evidence, my exhibits included contactless bank statements, travel evidence and other related things that put me in another city (where I reside) and not spying/staking/harassing her. The Judge did his fact finding and all 17 allegations against me were dismissed. A contact hearing was set up after this and I now will be able to see my daughter in a contact centre initially, with contact around the mothers new town by October. Game on 😉
Well done Lando!
https://www.dad.info/forum/child-maintenance/51171-maintenance-order-change-possible#98741
Guys
My story in short from start to finish.
Married for 13yrs together for 18yrs
she dropped the bomb 2yrs ago and we separated.
She wouldn't talk to me about the finances. everything was in her name apart from the joint account & mortgage so had no choice but to go to mediation, which made her really angry.
met with a solicitor while she was away with the kids and he told me not to leave the house and walk away.
my ex wife is a Narcissist, which I quickly discovered after we split and it all became clear.
She wanted the lions share. House, car, maintenance, and to bleed me dry and leave me with nothing.
Before we started mediation I had done my homework, despite her best attempts to fox me, I have my kids boy/girl 50/50 EQUAL shared care.
She wanted over £300 a month for maintenance which I DO NOT pay anything because a have Equal shared care.
I spoke to the CMS dept. 3 times and the same reply everytime, If you have your children on an EQUAL shared care basis then there is no primary carer of the children. So no paying or receiving parent.
I also applied to the child benefit office for one of my children as it's only right if I have them EQUAL 50/50 in my eyes its only fair.
They awarded me the C.B for my youngest child despite the kicking off with my ex wife.
You see, in the beginning they will promise you everything and to be amicable to suit what they are really after. All they are doing is getting everything into place to destroy you and leave you with nothing.
The family house got sold 50/50
4 credit cards in her name debt of 38k!!!! Gobbsmacked is not the word, I didn't know but that got paid off out of the equity of the house.
Her store cards which she tried to make me pay for half but I refused.
I all of the craziness that surrounds splits/divorce, the one thing you have to do is stay strong and do your homework. Don't listen to your so to be EX.
I pay for my kids when they are with me
I pay 50/50 for my kids when they are at school ( that's the only time I have to involve my EX and I keep it strict and down the middle )
I keep every receipt on anything a buy them and put in a box to keep just in case she try's to say I never buy anything for them.
I keep reading about guys who are in my situation who have their children the same as me and it kills me to hear that they do pay for everything because they have been manipulated by their EX by normally using the kids as pawns.
If you have your child s 50/50 even if your EX disapproves apply for C.B
If you have your child s 50/50 Equal shared care you need to ring the CMS because the online calculator cannot factor in Equal shared care.
It has been an absolute struggle for me this last two years but I have my own house now with a mortgage and the kids are settled now and that's all I wanted for them to be happy again.
Stick to your guns guys and if this helps just one other guy then this has been worth writing.
Good luck guys!!!!
Great result for Dadincourtalone, here’s his story. Well done, we love a good success story!
https://www.dad.info/forum/legal-eagle/50906-first-hearing-advice
Final hearing complete.
I pretty much got everything asked for.
Ex's solicitors were unbelievable - they left my most recent letter out of the bundle - goodness knows why. The court had a copy and had to give us all a copy.
They tried to argue all sorts of nonsense about how I couldn't get there to get my daughter and I wouldn't be able to drop her off as I'd outlined or I'd be fired from work - I answered everything calmly and played it all with a straight bat.
Now awaiting the written order.
I am sorry it had to get this far but Ex is such a control freak she couldn't even try to be flexible.
Thanks to all on here for help and suggestions, good luck everyone.
I had my 3rd and final hearing today. just fought to get bog standard order. before going to court, was just seeing kids every saturday for most of day. went to court for increased contact, mainly overnights. overnights were completely refused by ex. cited safety issues. cafcass did section 7 report. no child safety issues at all. yet at 2nd hearing still no agreement reach. lot of petty bickering about times to collect and drop off kids. final hearing got adjourned by a week, as cafcass not available.
it made a big difference as officer helped us reach agreements. so i will now get full weekends, every other weekend. mid-week contact every other week (i wanted every week, but was refused). and 1-2 weeks holidays (my jobs not that flexible - no paid holidays). travel abroad was raised. ex agrees to it as cafcass did, but it was added to recital. i just hope i dont have to return to court! judges didnt have to make any orders for us, as we reached agreements before going into court room.
special thanks to Mojo for his sound advice 🙂
https://www.dad.info/forum/legal-eagle/51012-advice-please/
After receiving a non molestation and occupation order and having been forced to sleep on a sofa for two years she lost in court.
She was ordered to leave and empty the master bedroom immediately, forced to pay just over half of my solicitor costs and we gained clarity on the 50/50 ownership of the house which she had claimed was 60/40 in her favour.
All in all well worth having good representation wherein she had none!
Regards
M
Great news marcust! Getting costs awarded is impressive... fantastic!
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