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My partner currently picks up his children, aged 10 and 8, everyday from school apart from Wednesday's and has them every other weekend. The initial arrangement was to have them every other weekend and afterschool twice a week. The children's mother has for several months been call him on the other days asking him to pick them up which he has. He also picks them up on the friday when it is her weekend. He Will have the children till 7.30/8pm. When the mother decides to return home.
My partner has just moved in with me and my daughter. Previous to this he was working from 5.30am and was unable to take the children to school. They attend the same school as my daughter. I also have an au pair who takes my daughter to school when i am unable to due to work which is normally once or twice a week.
The children's mother currently lives with her mother in a 2 bed flat and it is the grandmother who picks them up on the Wednesday and has them till the mother comes home. The mother intends to move in with her partner in 2 months time.
My partner and the children have asked the mother to allow them to stay over midweek but she has refused. The children have also said the majority of the time the mother does not stay in the house overnight but at her boyfriend's.
My partner would like 50/50 shared with the mother, 1 week with each parent as he thinks it would give more stability to the children and less disruption. He hopes it would encourage the mother to spend more time with the children. She is not willing to do this so partner has arranged to attend a MIAM next week.
Realistically what do you think his chances of achieving this are? I fully support him in this and want both him and his children to be happy.
Hi There and welcome to the forum,
It is difficult to say whether this would be possible, it would be down to the judge on the day, and you never know how they would go with the idea.
I do think though that from what you have said there would be a strong chance of some sort of 50/50 shared care, whether that would be one full week each alternating or whether it would be a split week again it's hard to say, some judges may go one way and a different judge the other.
It's good that your partner is supported through this.
The best advice I can give is try not to make the ex look bad, although mention that the children have said that she doesn't stay at the house with them, don't play on that as much as that your partner wants a bigger part of their lives and even more so on the stability that the 50/50 shared care would give the children.
Unless what the ex has done can prove that she has placed them in harms way then the judge wouldn't be too interested in it, and may see it as mud slinging rather than a genuine concern.
If you stick to the best interest of the children and offering stability then you will stand a better chance, the judge will be looking at what is best for the children
GTTS
Can I just check - when you say the mother doesn't stay in the house on the majority of occasions, but stays over at her boyfriends, does this mean that the children are left alone in the house? If so, then I would say that this is illegal and certainly potentially harmful if there is any emergency.
Hi ACTD,,
The ex lives with her mother, I assume that they are left with the ex's mother rather than alone.
GTTS
I would have a look at the Welfare Checklist and think about how you would apply this to your case. This is what the court uses to make decisions about applications when the parents cannot agree.
Getting 50/50 (especially when you've got a current arrangement in place like yours) is becoming easier in my experience. As for a week on/week off arrangement - I've seen some judges like this as a suggestion and others who believe a 3/4 and 4/3 arrangement suits children better. I would put forward proposals for both if it fits.
You've got a long road ahead of you and it's likely the court will want Cafcass to ask the children for their wishes and feelings and these might be taken into account.
Best of luck
Hi ACTD,,
The ex lives with her mother, I assume that they are left with the ex's mother rather than alone.
GTTS
Ah yes, I somehow missed that bit.
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