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Hi
I am a farther of a 8 your old .
5 years ago I separated from my ex-partner and I ended up in court fighting for access to my son, in the court papers it states I can have my son 50% of school holidays plus a Friday night, then a Friday ,Saturday night recurring, and I do so happily
As the years have gone on and my son now being 8 and saying to me every weekend “daddy can I stop until Sunday?” I think he is old enough to make that decision.
I decided to text my ex-partner asking the question of what our son was saying and his wishes only to receive the reply “no I don’t agree”
My Question is where do I stand legally does the court order still stand 5 yours later? Has anyone here had the same and how did you resolve this?
Thanks
Mark
Hi
Yes the court order still stands. Your first step would be to look at mediation to see if there's any way forward, and if not, you can then apply to court to vary the order. However, you have to be prepared that it might turn bitter if you go to court, so it really is worth trying to sort something out with mediation if possible.
Hi
as actd said, it does stand - they are valid until the child is 16 or 18 (depends upon the exact order and when it was made) although courts DO expect that arrangements will change as children grow older. So this is a normal issue you are running into.
I do agree though, that unless you have ex "on board" it could turn into a "shitzle show" and be more hassle than something so minor warrants.
Also at the age of 8, your sons' views will be given little weight by the court at this time (the typical age at which they get their say is 11/12/13 - but depends upon other factors too).
Your best route is mediation - but this may in itself open a can of worms and encourage ex to seek a solicitor to write grumpy letters (i.e. I have no idea about history, etc).
Hope helps
Hi as the others have said, the court order still stands. They run until the age of 16, or in exceptional cases, until the age of 18.
I really would consider mediation and try to avoid court as you have a pretty good arrangement in place at present.
Taking it to court would require an attempt at mediation and most courts take the view that it is important to have weekend time with both parents to allow for quality of time together.
Keep posting and we will do what we can to help.
http://www.nfm.org.uk/
If you end up back needing CAFCASS involved then according to my recent dealings with them a child at his age can have weight given to their wishes and feelings....but that then depends on the CAFCASS person....the one I had for the first 4yrs of sh*te my ex tried said the same as you've been told 11/12/13 ish....the last one totally went with the ex and refused to go on the previous 4yrs worth of implacable hostility and parental alienation shown and reported by the previous CAFCASS officer!
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