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TOPIC: Holiday issue - no idea what to do

Holiday issue - no idea what to do 8 months 1 week ago #87182

It just strikes me that them missing a week of school will be more detrimental than missing a holiday. But yes I am expecting her to be allowed to go.

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Holiday issue - no idea what to do 8 months 1 week ago #87186

Yoda wrote: You're not powerless - if she breaches it, you have to return to court each time. She'll soon get the message.


This is easier said than done. Repeatedly going back to court is far from ideal. "Soon" could sometimes mean months or even years. And then consider that the onus is on the victim to pay court expenses.

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Holiday issue - no idea what to do 8 months 1 week ago #87191

  • Yoda
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It doesn't have to be an endless cycle of returning. While I appreciate it is not ideal, to have to make applications, what else are you going to do? A court can make orders and provided the applications are regarding serious breaches, the court will deal with it.

With regard to the cost - enforcement applications are usually the rare time that court will award costs.

In my experience, overall when an application for enforcement is made for genuine breaches - a court will deal with it.



I agree missing a week of school is far from ideal. What I'm saying is that the court is likely to look at it from the children's point of view, not yours or the mothers. That's what they are there to do.

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DAD.info Moderator

I have several years experience supporting parents in family proceedings as a McKenzie Friend. I am, however, not a lawyer or barrister and my responses are based on my own opinions or experiences of the family court.

Holiday issue - no idea what to do 8 months 1 week ago #87194

The child missing a week of school because the mother decided to do so without consent from the father is not in the best interest of the child, and I struggle with the concept that doing otherwise because the child would be dissapointed is a valid argument.

What that does, is teach the child that rules don't matter and if you want something, just throw a fit until you get it. This will serve this child rather poorly later in life, and in my opinion, goes a long way to explaining why on average, children of divorce report having lower satisfying relationships and do less well financially.

The point of view of the child is not just the here and now, it's also who will this child grow up to be in the future.

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Holiday issue - no idea what to do 8 months 1 week ago #87244

She texted me today out of the blue, presumably she has spoken to her solicitor. She asked that I reconsider my legal action "for the sake of the children".
She has never ever been this polite to me. Ever. I can only assume the solicitor has told her I have a good case?

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Holiday issue - no idea what to do 8 months 6 days ago #87249

  • Mojo
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I think you should negotiate with her, court should always be avoided if at all possible.

What if you proposed that she agree to summer holiday dates as ordered and not take the children out of school again in the future. Agree to the holiday as it's booked, as she will lose her money and also, if you don't allow it, it will make your co parenting relationship more strained. Perhaps suggest that she pays for a session at mediation so that you can discuss your concerns and reach agreement going forward.

It will show that you're willing to,work with her and that you are keepinng your children at the centre of things.

All the best

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DadTalk Moderator

Not legally trained... just plenty of experience and common sense!

Holiday issue - no idea what to do 8 months 6 days ago #87259

Have to agree with Mojo, if it can be done amicably, it's better for everyone involved. Being determined without being confrontational, a trick every separated dad would do well in mastering.

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