TOPIC: further developments

further developments 10 months 2 weeks ago #81034

got an appointment with a solicitor and instigated the sending of a solicitors letter. I simply wanted some teeth adding to our contact agreement (drawn up by Meditation) to enable me to do things with the children on the whole of some sundays in the month not just the afternoons. (on a sleepover Saturday I have to return the children Sunday morning for their mothers choice of Sunday School collect again after dinner to go off to do something together) but it means I cannot plan anything to far away or even doing anything to include the children in my own sunday morning activities because even though meditation stated there would be some flexibilty to allow this the ex will not consider this. (it's also worth considering that Social services also said at least one sunday of each month should be for my activities, during late spring last year) Solicitor advised going for full saturday and sunday every other weekend and she said if it went to court this is what the court would expect to happen.

Letter got sent, The ex went into orbit!

Am now waiting to see what counter proposals she will put via her solicitor. Interestingly though she is now preventing me from seeing the children during the week ( using the too tired excuse) but the alternate saturday sleepovers are still happening. The school do not think these contacts can be varied like that. Good job the next meeting is going to be soon
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further developments 10 months 2 weeks ago #81044

It's quite common for mothers to go into orbit when their control is challenged...Not a lot more I can add, except that I would be going for more than just an alternate weekend, courts are usually happy to go with alternate weekends and a weekly midweek, shared school holidays and shared alternate Christmas and birthdays.

Good luck with the next meeting
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latest update 9 months 3 weeks ago #81522

Latest update

Had a childrens meeting with social services last week. The EX decided not to attend..... (shopping more important! I kid you not) and claimed that she had not been given enough notice of the meeting even though she was told by the teacher who attended the meeting on behalf of the school about it during the previous week.

Social Services have decided to limit their involvement down to no longer having us assigned a named social worker even though the named person has said thing are 'not perfect'. I stated my disagreement with this at the meeting for what it is worth (in this case nothing) for the same reasons as being reluctant to come off child protection as stated in a previous post. I suggested the description 'not perfect' implied far higher levels of dissatisfaction than was implied by the decision but the fact remains we are no longer meeting the threshold for intervention in spite of the concerns expressed whenever professionals meet.

No actual response from her solicitor yet as to what she has actually said though I have had an indication that her counter response to my letter is very much based on the existing mediation agreement which was not being honored. If true this is interesting because my solicitor advised against using the existing agreement as a basis saying the court would expect a weekend contact alternating between us. Will hers share the same opinion
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latest update 9 months 3 weeks ago #81532

Hers is likely to follow her lead. I would say if she's not open to negotiation then you could expect at least alternate weekends and a midweek weekly visit if you were to take it to court...not forgetting a share of all school holidays and alternating Christmas and birthdays.

All the best
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latest update 9 months 2 weeks ago #81752

Had a discussion with my solicitor today who has advised starting a family court action

We have had no response from my wife's solicitor........ really don't know what to make of this as I know a counter proposal was submitted to them so maybe things stalled because they did not like the look of it and suggested changes. The holding letter submitted by her solicitor to mine (before christmas) stated a reply could be expected after the new year.

My solicitor has advised that a response is now overdue and suggested this should be treated as a no response and to start an action.

If I want to speak to my eldest I have to text her at what time I will ring and then ring at that time. She will let him phone his nana (her mum) whenever he wants but she will forbid him to contact me even when she (and he) knows I have phoned if I have not pre arranged by texting. She claims she is getting 'nasty ' phone calls and so does not answer the phone anymore but uses 1471 to see who has called..... (I have suggested she gets number display).

I have told the social worker this as previous experience has shown she is likely to convince herself these calls ( probably just a 'ppi fishing' call ) are in some way connected to me and officially complain about it.
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latest update 9 months 2 weeks ago #81770

How about if you provide her with a mobile phone, one of those cheap pay as you go ones, you would be the only person to have the number, or indeed phone the mobile, so she can be assured that she won't receive any more nasty calls! Agree a set schedule when you'll phone and you could text 24hrs prior to confirm you will be calling.
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