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Hi guys. I am not sure if I am on the right page here. I have never had to deal with CSA onlt CAFCASS in 2012 when I wanted to take my 5 year old daughter on holiday to Spain which I was able to after spending £200.
My daughter was 9 months when I split from the ex wife. In the first 4 years we both worked a rota to have our daughter in turns as we both worked. We had separate houses but only lived 5 minutes away therefore all the rest of the family lived near and schools etc. This means I had the pleasure of taking my daughter to nursery and picking her up many times UNTIL my ex wife met her now husband and relocated nearer to his work and young son approx 1 hour away. Okay this isn't so far that I couldn't keep that contact but what it meant is I couldn't have her school nights and at flexible times. It had to be alternate weekends and half holidays. So I was up and down that motorway STILL til this day almost 9 years for xmas plays, sports day, parents evening in primary school. Their was the odd blip along the way and you guys no the 11 days in between is brutal that I came home after dropping off half way on a Sunday in floods of tears.
I can't change what has happened. Some guys sadly have horrible mothers that will make it harder for us. Distance does hurt the amount of time you have with yours kids. They and you need to be close to their schools and friends.
My daughter is almost 13 and now since 11 3/4 she has CHANGED so much I am wondering where my little girl has disappeared too. :boohoo:
Parents will have the worst of this generation of millennial kids. Social media is ruining our kids and a major distraction when it comes to our time with our cherished ones.
My daughter is disrespectful, ignorant and rude and yes I have been told her hormones are raging etc..
It saddens me deeply that the mother has a role to play ref time spent on social media ie that horrible Instagram.
She is addicted to it and I feel helpless as her mother isn't setting examples. If not getting a fathers day card and birthday card (when on my birthday I took her for tea with a cake) she was more fixed on her phone.
I would have hoped her mother set examples to bring them here on the weekend to carry on with a routine.
I have treated my daughter with love and time over her 12 plus years and we have great memories which I have videoed or taken photos. She knows she is loved. It is somewhat difficult to apply discipline in the latter years as she will tell me she won't come again. So I am careful what I say but their have been occasions when I have made my thoughts clear.
Here is my current problem. I know she is almost a teenager and it isn't going to be an easy ride. Because me and her mother don't see eye to eye and that the distance doesn't help with my parenting her the way I would like it has been 56 days since my daughter has come to stay the weekend. This is the longest time ever and I have bad days where it is making me cry at the slightest thing. I am 53 year old man for goodness sake!
I have suggested tea after school which I have done many times over the years to break up the time I don't see her.
That means driving an hour to pick her up from school and park in the town do a bit of shopping then go and have a bite to eat which is just under 3 hours. The last time was 2 weeks ago for my birthday.
I have messaged her a few times leading up to our weekend together but she ignores me. Maybe doing that she won't have to come. The last time was 2 days ago and because she didn't answered I messaged her the next day and told her it was rude to ignore your dad and can you explain why? If I have upset you please explain, love dad x
3 hours later she just responded with "sorry." I haven't bothered to reply. I haven't spoken to her mum for 2 months as it is a waste of time. But I will tonight. I had a random message from my daughter 2 weeks ago after I messaged that I missed her and it's not nice to be ignored. 3 days later she messaged for me to look on her Instagram where she posted several photos of us together saying "miss you dad." I replied miss you too. She had about 50 likes. But it is like playing with my mind. Why? 👿
Okay coming to the end now. She was meant to be here today for the weekend. I checked her Instagram and she recently today after school posted a Tic Toc video of her wearing a skimpy top pouting and what looks like licking her lips as she looked into her phone with the aid of a mirror. I was disgusted! So her audience will see this including her friends parents and maybe strange men! She is more interested than making these videos than not coming to see her dad in 56 days! 😮
Please somebody reassure me it is phase she is going through and she will want to come soon and I would like to see somebody ref the amount of time she hasn't been here. CAFCASS? Somebody needs to be involved in my ex wifes parenting skills. I feel helpless and redundant. It seems my wife is accountable to nobody and I have concerns. Who can I talk to please? 🙁
hi there,
my kids are still young. 6, 3 and 1. i have been told by family and friends that to expect them to become more distant as they get older. and they find it strange that I am so attached to them, probably because their so young and my families kids are lot older. one relative i speak to is not bothered really. he hasnt split up with ex. 2 of his teen kids not really interested in spending time with him. they have their phones and their friends.
Cherish the times at that age. You'll never get that time again. Lovely ages. I feel berieved that I've lost somebody I once knew. Makes it much harder than if you saw your kids daily.
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