[Solved] 11 week no access, no xmas , birthday nothing

Hi There,

Welcome to the site, many of us have been through court and self represented and in my oppinion it's the best way forward, if you have a solicitor then the judge doesn't hear from you directly so doesn't get any emotional feel for what's going on and with the cost of solicitors it's just not worth it unless there are complications that warrant a legal mind in the court room.

Ask any questions you have and one or many of us will answer them as best we can, there is a wealth of knowledge on the site so feel free to ask away.

GTTS

Go for it, start the ball rolling ASAP, I self represented and I'm so pleased I did without the aid of a money grabbing solicitor I managed to get an order in half the time most dads do who are represented, it's a lot easier than you think and it feels good stood up there fighting for your little one I actually enjoyed it.

You will get a wealth of information from this site, you will get decent access it just takes time, patience, a huge pair of [censored], grit and determination, at the end of the day the family courts is just a system, tick all the boxes jump through the hoops and you will be fine 🙂

well thats reassureing to know thamku , jus finishing another 15 hours reviseing n absorbeing as much as possible , feel ;like [censored] johnny 5 alive lol /..
i have so many questions ... agggh i have never felt this way in my life ..
i will defo thrive off the lads who have been there n dun it and i rekon it to be a masssssive hel ..
one question to start kind sir , my first hearing (F.H.D.R.A) AND MY CHANCE TO TALK , I HAVE WRITTEN A SMALL COMPACT VERSION OF EVENTS , HOW I FEEL IT HAS EFFECTED MY ANGEL , HOW CALLUS AND UNJUST IT WAS , APPLYED FOR THE INTERM CONTACT , EXPLAINIG IM AWARE OF THE DIFFERENT TYPES DEOENDING ON CERCUMSTANCE AND HOW I AM WILLING TO ACCEPT EVEN A SUPERVISED ORDER UNTILL THE COURT FEELS THEY NOW IM A GENUINE FATHER AND FINISHED BY EXLAINING MY REASONS .. IE.. ALIENATEING ME FROM MY GIRL , UNESSESARY SEPERATION , THE HARM I BELEIVE IT MAY CAUSE (3 YEAR OLD )HER
IN A EXPERIENCED MIND SHOULD I MENTION ANYTHING ELSE OR KEEP IT AS BRIEF AS POSS ?

THE MOTHER TO MY ANGEL HAS IM SURE SOME SORT OF PLAN , BUT THERE HAS BEEN ABSOLUTELY NO VIOLENCE , IMTIMIDATION , THREATS , ABUSE , NITHING LOGGED AS A CRIME OR POLICE REPORTS , BUT STILL SHE IS CLAIMING SHE IS SCARED BLAR BLAR .. WHAT EFFECT WILL THIS HAVE ON THE AOPPLIATION FOR INTERM ?
GRACIAS THAMKS N CHEERS } X

WOW , THATS INSITRING SXXT BUDDY , THANKU , IT IS A HARD TIME , BUT [censored] , DETERMINATION , N A NEVER SAY DIE ATTITUDE I DO POSSES.. SO THANKS BRO .. LOVELY X

well thats reassureing to know thamku , jus finishing another 15 hours reviseing n absorbeing as much as possible , feel ;like [censored] johnny 5 alive lol /..
i have so many questions ... agggh i have never felt this way in my life ..
i will defo thrive off the lads who have been there n dun it and i rekon it to be a masssssive hel ..
one question to start kind sir , my first hearing (F.H.D.R.A) AND MY CHANCE TO TALK , I HAVE WRITTEN A SMALL COMPACT VERSION OF EVENTS , HOW I FEEL IT HAS EFFECTED MY ANGEL , HOW CALLUS AND UNJUST IT WAS , APPLYED FOR THE INTERM CONTACT , EXPLAINIG IM AWARE OF THE DIFFERENT TYPES DEOENDING ON CERCUMSTANCE AND HOW I AM WILLING TO ACCEPT EVEN A SUPERVISED ORDER UNTILL THE COURT FEELS THEY NOW IM A GENUINE FATHER AND FINISHED BY EXLAINING MY REASONS .. IE.. ALIENATEING ME FROM MY GIRL , UNESSESARY SEPERATION , THE HARM I BELEIVE IT MAY CAUSE (3 YEAR OLD )HER
IN A EXPERIENCED MIND SHOULD I MENTION ANYTHING ELSE OR KEEP IT AS BRIEF AS POSS ?

THE MOTHER TO MY ANGEL HAS IM SURE SOME SORT OF PLAN , BUT THERE HAS BEEN ABSOLUTELY NO VIOLENCE , IMTIMIDATION , THREATS , ABUSE , NITHING LOGGED AS A CRIME OR POLICE REPORTS , BUT STILL SHE IS CLAIMING SHE IS SCARED BLAR BLAR .. WHAT EFFECT WILL THIS HAVE ON THE AOPPLIATION FOR INTERM ?
GRACIAS THAMKS N CHEERS } X

Hi,

I wouldn't mention that you would eccept supr]ervised contact to start with as you may give the judge the idear that it is needed, go striaght away for unsupervised, but have in mind that with what your ex is saying that supervised may be a condition. Also within your statement make sure that what you say is all based on facts and leave your oppinions out, don't talk about what agenda your ex may have and talk about the relationship between you and your daughter but always factual.

When you are asking for a level of contact ask for slightly more than you would accept, it's the same as supervised/un supervised contact, you can have in your head what you would like but asking for more and accepting less (but actually what you wanted in the first place) will show you are open to compromise and will help you massively with the judge.

Always keep calm and if your getting angry or annoyed at what's being said take a deep breath and pause before answering.

Take que cards in with you in a set out order so you can prompt yourself throughout the hearing, being over organised is better than struggling through as you will be more composed whilst in the court room.

It may also be worth having a chat with the guys on the front desk when you check in and ask them to just briefly explain what will happen when you go in again better to be prepaired.

GTTS

ye that sounds like the way forwad , so i must keep out "opinions" seak otrue facts and always keep my angel the main priority ?
i am about to start another shift lol ...
this site is awseome ... thanks guys
one thing , not sure if it a question that has a definate answer but the interim contact .... am i right in thinking , (unless bad things or true violence n threasts n so on are part of the case) that its is almost a cert that some sort of ontact will be granted THAT FIRST DAY IN COURT ?
THANKS AGAIN MATEY .. A REAL BIG HELP

:woohoo:

Hi and welcome.

Unfortunately there are no guarantees that you will be awarded interim contact at the first directions hearing. It will depend on the schedule 2 safeguarding letter from Cafcass to the court and what the judge decides based on their recommendations. All being well, if there are no safeguarding issues, you should in theory see some interim contact ordered.

Good luck 🙂

....often it depends on whether you have requested it on your application form, if you haven't then the judge may not allow it to be discussed at the first hearing. If you haven't mentioned this in your application you can write a letter to the court asking that you would like the matter of an interim contact order considered at the first hearing. If you do that you will also have to send a copy of the letter to the other side , this is court procedure.

As much as your ex may be a callous manipulator, you will do your case no good at all if you start bad mouthing her, as GTTS says keep everything child focused. Talk about the deep bond your daughter has with you and how a separation of any length will be detrimental to her and not in her best interests. Approach everything from your daughters perspective, calm and reasonable is how you want to come across.

Good luck

...it would be better not to use real names when posting, this is a public forum and its advisable to remain anonymous ....discussing your case and what is said in court is contempt and you could get into trouble for it... Some ex's go looking for this and can use it against you.

One of the Moderators can edit your post for you and take out your names. 🙂

Yup! defo take a chill pill, you need to be cool calm collected and in control of your emotions from the start to finish when you are dealing with the family courts, let the ex do all the slagging off bad mouthing ect, unless theres concrete proof that she is emotionally disturbing the child then the courts won't be bothered about it and you will be perceived to be a malicious vindictive ex.

As NJ and GTTS have said do not slag the ex off at all concentrate fully on your child and the best way to approach the courts is always expect the worst and don't expext anything the courts do work in strange ways, at first they are very very cautious so you may or may not get interim contact it's absolute pants as you really have to prove yourself and at first it may seem like everything is going in the ex's favour but that will soon change once you have shown the courts you are fully focused on your child and not wanting to get one over on the ex 🙂

...it would be better not to use real names when posting, this is a public forum and its advisable to remain anonymous ....discussing your case and what is said in court is contempt and you could get into trouble for it... Some ex's go looking for this and can use it against you.

One of the Moderators can edit your post for you and take out your names. 🙂

I have removed the names for you, as Nj says this site is easy to find and if your ex comes accross it and reads what's written it could make life harder for you

GTTS