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Morning all,
I posted on here a while back saying I was having issues at home and just not happy there any longer. I have since moved out of the family home and living with my mum at present (2 months). I have told my wife a week ago that we should go our separate ways as I think she still thought I may 'come back' (she thinks I have mental problems/a m gay mainly).
I have friends who have gone through divorce and I hear a lot of horror stories about the financial cost on the man in those circumstances. Can anyone offer advice on what I should expect, worst and best case as I want to move on with my life but enjoy it at the same time!
I have two children, aged 8 and 6 and I'm currently seeing them every few days and at weekends and I hope that can continue. If I get my own place I will want them to stay a few nights a week as I try to become a better dad now I'm no longer in the relationship with my wife.
I understand there is a calculator for child support and this seems to be around £800 a month which I'm happy to pay but what else could I expect to pay? My wife's parents paid around 100k towards our house (deposit) and we've since paid 50/50 for 6 years. I'm happy for her to keep the house and everything in it but would obviously like to release some equity from the house at re-mortgage time.
I hope to speak to my wife next week about all this but I'm not sure where to look and I'm frankly scared that I'll end up paying here thousands a month and have no money to enjoy living my own life. Her parents are wealthy so she has back up there that I know will be made available, I don't have that, what I earn and where I've got to in life is all I have.
Hi There,
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A lot of how things will go will depend on how you and your wife can talk things through if you can keep things civil and all friendly then things will be much easier to sort out, it sounds as though you have so far managed to work out a suitable routine for seeing the children, which hopefully stands you in good place for finances.
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When it comes to finances, you are entitle to a share of the equity, you can discuss how much you accept with your wife and I would say the fairer you are then again, hopefully the better things will go, officially you are entitled to a share of up to 50% of the current equity, many dads, when they seperate aim to get 40% but many accept less than this as a way of finalising things and getting things over and done with. I know I ended up with around 15-20% but in order to get that amount I ended up paying out loads in solicitors fees.
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My ex argued and and held out until I backed down, and accepted what was offered by her, it was that or pay even more money out to continue to fight her, which would have ended up with me having less money in the long run anyway.
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As said there is no way of knowing how things will turn out as only you know how your ex may act/react to the issues you are going to face, all I will say is alway look at the bigger picture and think about how your actions will effect the proccess, keep everything clean and not underhand and always try and be respectful when talking.
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GTTS
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