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My partner has decided out of the blue that she wants to seperate, we never married but have three wonderful children - aged 9mths, 3yrs and 5yrs.
Before we met I purchased and own two properties, plus the third house we now live in; her name is on none of the mortgages and she has never financially she put any money toward them. For the last five years she has been a stay at home mum.
I earn a reasonable wage (£52k) but also have some debt totalling £30K; I have offered to pay her £600 a month for the three kids and I have requested an overnight stay mid-week, and either Saturday or Sunday weekly, plus a long weekend at least once oper month, plus a minimum of two weeks holiday per year.
Questions/Issues:
1)
My partner struggles to cope with the three kids and has decided that it's in the kids best interests to go back to Scotland where her parents live. This is not in the kids interests but hers as she has her mum to help.
I have catecorigally told her that if she tries to move to Scotland with the kids I'll sell everything and fight her - thought I might be able to get a Preventative Steps Order? Am I likely to get that??
2)
Does she have any hold over any of the properties??
3)
If she doesnt go to Scotland, she wants me to move out - this may sound selfish and I dont want my kids to suffer at all. But I cannot afford to go elsewhere. I know it looks good with the properties I own and my salary but those properties dont have huge amounts of equity what with the housing market the way it is and they are supposed to be my pension and more importantly I always looked on them as an investment for the childrens future.
So what should I do??
I will probably see a solicitor but any advice is appreciated as my heads in a bit of a spin - Do I give it all up for the sake of the kids now, or fight and make her get housing from the council; pay a decent amount in payments per month and safeguard my pension and childrens future nest egg??
DH
Hi There,
I will ask the childrens legal team to drop by and advise on the children being taken to Scotland as they will be able to advise on that side of things.
They aren't able to advise on the finacial side though. From my experience though she will be entitled to a share of the propertys even though she isn't named on the mortgages and hasn't paid anything towards them, this is because she was a stay at home mum which allowed you to work whilst she looked after the house and the children. So in the eyes of the courts she has paid her part in allowing you to work and earn the wage that pays for everything.
How has she responded to your requests for contact?
Darren
Dear Darren,
Thank you for your enquiry.
With regards to the specific issues that you raise, we will deal with them in turn.
1) In order for the mother to move out of England without your consent she should go to court and obtain an order from the court allowing her to do so lawfully. On the other hand, you may consider applying for a Prohibited Steps Order, -ie asking the court to stop her from moving. Unfortunately we cannot comment on the likelihood of the outcome of any court proceedings. All we can say is that the judge will consider all circumstances including the impact that such move may have on the children’s schooling, social life and family network.
You can apply by yourself by filing a C100 form to your local Family Proceedings Court where the children currently reside. You can find the form at www.justice.gov.uk., tab ‘forms’.
The application costs in the region of £200 and if you decide to represent yourself, you will have to argue your case in front of the judge.
2) And 3) unfortunately we cannot advise on financial matters. We would strongly recommend for you to see a family solicitor in your area to clarify your position on these matters.
Should you wish to discuss your situation further please do contact one of our legal advisors via our webchat which can be accessed on our website www.childrenslegalcentre.com between 9am and 6pm.
Children's Legal Center
Hi DH
Doing a quick calculation, I would estimate that you are taking home around £3000 per month, so currently with 3 children, you are looking at a CSA maintenance calculation of £750 per month, though if you do have your children for 2 days per week (ie between 104 and 155 days per year), then you would be reducing that by 2/7th - so back to about £535 per month, so what you are paying is perfectly reasonable if you can get that level of staying contact. The new calculation from October would take your initial figure up to about £825 per month.
However, if you have more than £65000 in assets - in your case, this could be the equity in the two houses, then you could be assessed on that also - I don't know how this is worked out.
As said above, you need a family solicitor to advise you properly on your best course of action and the possible outcomes.
Thanks for the replies everyone.
At present we still live together; hence my questions about moving out and the house, so we have only initially disccussed contact. I told her want I wanted and she did not say 'No' but I suspect this may change if I stop her going to Scotland - equally I may get more contact as she may need to get a job of some description?
On the financial side I think everyone is right in that I need to go and see a solicitor to sort it out what she is legally entitled to and I can then make my moral decisions on if I give her anything more than she is entitled for the sake of my kids.
To add insult to the whole scenario she has been in Scotland over the weekend for her sisters wedding, and this morning she has taken my daughter to visit a school. I know this as when I spoke to my daughter on the phone about lunch time she said "Daddy, we went to visit mummys old school this morning". I had a sneaky suspicion this is what she was going to do but my daughter, god bless her, confirmed it.
I'll let you know what the solicitor says.
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