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Hi all, Im a single dad of two girls aged 6 and 4.
My two girls currently live with me, you see last September the mother of my kids decided to leave them with me and go on a un-announced break, this wasn't the first time she'd done it and she had also cost me my job during the latest stint so I decided to go to court for custody during the initial hearing various stuff in the past was brought up such as her drink problem and her inability to get my children into school on a regular basis.
The judge awarded me custody for the duration of the court case this was back in November last year with the next court date scheduled for June.
As the children's mother was not sticking to a agreement we had which was that she give me £140 each week out of her £190 benefits and was instead using this money to go out buy herself new clothes etc while I had no income to look after the children I decided to apply myself... I made a applications to income support, CB, and TAX credits. on December 21st I think, however I am still not in receipt of the said benefits. from my understanding the children's mother told them she still had the kids and despite me sending in the court orders with my application they were still giving her the benefit money up until early February. I have been living off of Crisis loans since December waiting for this to be sorted, I cant claim IS because of CB and the same goes for CTC I need CB to get that also.
Well this morning I was told that I had reached the limit for crisis loans and that I would not be able to get any more loans from them. I called CB and they told me that it takes 16 weeks and that my claim wont be sorted before the 23rd of april..... thats another 4 weeks that they expect me to survive with out any money.....
I basically have no money to look after my kids, Im low on shopping and I have no idea what im going to do in fact iv only got enough for dinner for the kids tonight. I myself haven't eaten in 2 days and im living off of drinking tea.... Iv got no more family and friends to help me out... Iv had to borrow money off nearly everyone I know and there is no where else for me to turn... im really at my wits end and have no idea what to do now
i take it from your log in name you are based in london... what ward are you in?
lets talk...
You have to call child maintenance options on 0800 988 0988 its free phone number so wont cost a thing. we can call them for you if you want
You need to talk to your kids school and get free meals for the 6 year old. Also go to your local childrens centre/sure start centre and ask for advise.
Are you worrie dthat someone will call social services and your kids will be taken off you? i don't think this would happen but give us mo and we will ask our residential social worker for thoughts/ advice too
don't disappear dude
Hi ldndad,
What an awful situation to be in, I can't imagine how you feel right now.
All I can do is suggest the following organisations that, if they are not able to help, they will be able to suggest where you might go for help.
Advice uk
They give advice regardng benefits.
http://www.adviceuk.org.uk
020 7407 4070
Citizens Advice Bureau
http://www.citizensadvice.org.uk
Child maintenance options
0800 988 0988
I will also ask CCCS to have a look and comment on this.
Hang in there mate
Gooner
I live in waltham forest, the school have been very kind and have already allowed my children to be free dinners, despite me not being in receipt of income support yet. they are at the same school they were at when they lived with their mother as I said the children missed a large amount of school (44% un authorised absences) when I decided to go to court I informed the school, they inturn wrote a letter stating that whenever the kids are with me they never miss school unless they are un-well and I always inform them of this.
I have managed to form a good relationship with the school office which is why they decided to help me out when it came to my childrens school dinners as they know of my current legal situation and the situation with the benefits.
My main concern is food for the household as well as gas and electricity.... As far a social services go Im a bit hesitant about contacting them as they are due to put together a report on me and the children for the courts and dont want it to show i struggled to feed and provide for them...
Thank you for your help
hi goonerplum Iv tried citizen advice but my two nearest ones are currently closed...
Iv spent most of the day on the phone trying to get community grants, crisis loans, budget funds and iv called the jobcentre, tax credits & income support for advice but nobody can help....
Iv tried getting a number for Child Benefits head office or a department that deal with emergency but i cant find one and the call centre i call are very dismissive constantly telling me my application is still within the 16 week expected duration and that there is nobody else for me to talk to who would be of help.....
Hi Mate
Just spoke to a social worker and they said that you should contact your local social services who will probably offer you emergancy funds re the food issue. She underlined the fact that you shouldn't worry about contacting social service. If the school deem you a fit parent then thats all positive for you. 😀
She said that you need make a new application for child benefit as they will look at all the claiments and make a dicision themsleves about who to give the money to. If the kids live with you then they will see that and make payments to you for this season that you have custody.
Social services should also be able to signpost you locally re what agencies/charities are there to help you out. We have done a quick google search in walthum forest and found a few things like credit union who you might be able to borrow money from, you could also try local churches for support.
Are you near the Lloyd Park Childrens Centre or Higham Hill Childrens Centre they should be able to signpost you too . http://www.thelloydparkcentre.co.uk/index.asp?id=953
we are waiting to hear back from child main options too!
if you're worried about social services what about talking to your doctor or solicitor if you have one.
Hi the application is being processed in my name now, but they are saying that it wont be sorted before the 16 week expected processing duration which is the 23 of april....
I live near Highams park in chingford.
My solicitor has been helping me speaking to people on my behalf but she has already done so much I feel awkward asking her for more help, im on legal aid and the amount of time she has dedicated to me and my case is unbelievable.
I tried the adviceUK number as I havent spoken to them before but the number seems to be wrong
Iv got to go collect the girls from school but il be back in 15mins
HI Buddy
we've spoken to the Child Benifit people. Whilst CB were not able to talk about your personal situation they stated that once a rival claim has been recieved by them ( so the claim you placed back in Dec ) all apyments are stopped. So the mother of your kids shouldn't be receiving funds currenlty. They will be backpaid to who ever the CB decide has custody.
The 16 weeks is the normal MAX time taken to process a rival claim as CB has to investigate via schools etc. Have your school heard from them? can they call with your ref number and feed info back ? He said if your ex partner has a case that she is currenlty in custody of the kids it could take longer as it goes to the legislated team who under take a full investigation. However with the documents you have given them and if the school and back you up you may find that things get sorted well before the 16 weeks.
Re what to do in the mean time - talk to your solicitor she will be able to help you and DO call social services as they too will see that you are making all the right moves and have all the support of school etc.
We really hope things turn out right really soon for you and the girls
I just got an email from our friends at Child Maint Options who say the following
1) For his immediate needs, he would probably be best to ring his local Citizens Advice (he'll find the number in his yellow pages, on the website http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/ or by ringing 118118 or similar)
2) Child Maintenance Options can help with the child maintenance aspect but reading his thread it will probably require a statutory agreement. The Options team will give him the choices available to him (advantages and disadvantages) for child maintenance and may warm transfer him to the CSA to start the process off.
Do let us know what tomorrow brings my friend. And if any other Dadtalk dads have any advice they will shout. We are all here for you bro.
my wife has dealings with social services, and your worries are probably based on bad press. Social services only remove children as a last resort - they will do all they can to support the children remaining with a parent unless there is any danger to their welfare. From what you have said, there is no need for you to worry at all about them getting involved, sounds like you are an ideal father who simply needs some support.
Hang in there, and keep us posted.
Hi
This is a terrible situation for you to be in especially with the children involved.
A lot of the options available for you to try have already been posted, so hopefully you have made some progress to sorting things out.
Our advice would reiterate what has been suggested already.
You could contact your local citizen’s advice bureau about your situation; they might be able to help you contact the benefits office and explain about the emergency.
You need to also try and get hold of someone in authority at the benefits office and ask for a reason why this has not been dealt with when they have had a copy of the court order and this situation is as a result of their error.
With regards your utility bills then some companies have trust funds to help in hardship cases. You could either have an appointment with the CCCS to see if one is available or, if you go to the CAB, then they should also have a list.
If you have any unsecured debts, such as loans,credit cards, store cards, catalogues, then you should stop paying these, as you need to concentrate on your priorities first.
If you would like to speak to one of our debt counsellors, you can call for an appointment free on 0800 138 1111.
The lone parent website, Gingerbread, could offer you further help and support.
I have attached a link for you.
http://www.gingerbread.org.uk/portal/pa ... %20parents
Regards
Sue
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