[Solved] selling house question.......

Hello spleece,

I am not legally trained but if your ex partner has a home of her own for herself and the children, I do not believe she has any claim on your home particularly taking into account the three key points you state regarding your own home.

After checking with the C.M.S. as to what your financial liability is regarding maintenance payments for the children, you could open a case with them and pay the determined amount which would be your total legal financial liability. A reduction in payment is made for overnight stays the children have with you, this is implemented when the overnights amount to 52 per year or more based on a scale system. If you did that, you would need to adhere to the payments religiously as it would be legally binding and you would need to inform the C.M.S. if there where any changes to your income at any time. It is essential if making payments via the C.M.S. that you have the payments clearly stated on bank statements as being maintenance payments as this would enable you to prove (should there be any doubt at any time) that you have not defaulted. Any extra money available to you would then be in your control to spend on the children as and when you deemed it appropriate to do so.

I would speak to the C.M.S. to confirm what your financial obligation is regarding the children's maintenance and also get legal confirmation concerning that your Ex has no claim whatsoever on your home. You will then be assured as to your position and proceed with confidence regarding the decisions you make.

I take it you do not have a Court Order for contact with the children and any action you take which does not comply to your Ex's demands could cause her to stop contact between you and the children. Should that be the case, you may find that you have to take the matter to court to get access to your children. A prerequisite of this would be to attend mediation first.

thanks for the quick reply MotherofaFather ...

There aren't any restictions and/or court orders... i went to CMS as a protection simply because we have had 3 years of amicable FAMILY BASED arrangements without even considering CMS... never missed payments and always made adhoc and additionals when asked..

for some reason she doesn't want to talk over the phone now and everything is formal through email... and has doubled... so its either:
- she has sought legal advice... but since we were never married and she has no interest in the house then the advice is poor
- shes trying her luck ......(likely)
- a friend/new partner/family member has said she can get more.... (really dumb advice)

ALl its done is stop any amicable relationship we had and we all comms are via email which is simply nuts. (If i'd missed payments or broke arrangements i could understand... but not, so I am at a loss)..

Hello spleece,

I'm sorry communication between you both has broken down. I hope she does not deny you contact with your children.

I suggest you keep a diary, all emails, letters, texts etc in case you should end up going to court as possible proof of her unreasonable behaviour or as proof of your innocence with regard to any untrue accusations. When amicable communication breaks down and hostility creeps in it can be very unpleasant and many untruths are levelled at innocent fathers. Please do not argue with her or be derogatory about her (which I'm sure you wouldn't be), adopt a business approach to this. Be careful not to contact her unnecessarily as it is common for many women to take out a non molestation order on fathers therefore making the whole situation more difficult.

thanks for the additional advice.... i will... cms strangely advised me to keep a diary of when i have kids incase she claims a different number... shes refused to sign my form so am filling it in myself., strange to keep a timecard but as you say if things get nasty then having backup and history will help.

You must take the high ground and not get embroiled in any nastiness she may try to instigate, difficult I know as it is a very emotional and puzzling time for you particularly her change in attitude. Keep a business like approach. I personally do not think she has a leg to stand on what she is asking for based on the information you have given in your posts, furthermore I question if her change in attitude is fuelled by "friends", partner, family if so do not let it affect you, rise above it and keep your own counsel. Your priority is your children and yourself.

Addition:- if you decide to pay through the C.M.S. pay her direct which I believe is your choice to do. If you do it indirectly through the C.M.S. I believe they add an extra 20% of the payment for them acting as a third party.