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My situation is very similar to this.
I agreed to stay on the mortgage and pay 40% towards it until the house is eventually sold in 9 years time; even with a court order that states that I am indemnified against any non-payment by my ex doesn't mean a thing in the eyes of a lender; because I am jointly liable for the full amount so any bank will look at the 100% cost of the mortgage you are currently on when seeing how much they will lend you. I mean, sure if you have like £200k in savings maybe not such an issue, but I have about £15k and even getting the most basic flat in the cheapest area is not possible.
Once sold I will get my money back, but doesn't help me now and 9 years is a long time when you have two small children to miss out on having them over and building that second home for them. I had to really push for the initial 9 years wait for the house to be sold. Being on a mortgage doesn't let you do any Help to Buy or similar schemes.
So for me, I have CMS, mortgage payments, student loan, and this all means I have no option to buy even a garage as my affordability is severely restricted. My only option is house sharing at the moment and my daughters can't stay with me at all, so it is impacting me by not allowing me to move on, and also impacting my relationship with my daughters. It is so deflating and there is little help for someone like me who works full time and has no access to support to enable a brighter future for myself and my children. I know they are happy as they didn't have to get uprooted, but it is completely at the detriment of my own life, and I feel very much restricted and subhuman because of the living situation I am in.
If anyone has managed to navigate out of this situation then let me know as it is hard. And my advice to anyone going through the process to establish what happens to the house, get off the mortgage if you can because it will make your life, and the lives of your children compromised way beyond what you even initially imagined.
My situation is very similar to this.
I agreed to stay on the mortgage and pay 40% towards it until the house is eventually sold in 9 years time; even with a court order that states that I am indemnified against any non-payment by my ex doesn't mean a thing in the eyes of a lender; because I am jointly liable for the full amount so any bank will look at the 100% cost of the mortgage you are currently on when seeing how much they will lend you. I mean, sure if you have like £200k in savings maybe not such an issue, but I have about £15k and even getting the most basic flat in the cheapest area is not possible.
Once sold I will get my money back, but doesn't help me now and 9 years is a long time when you have two small children to miss out on having them over and building that second home for them. I had to really push for the initial 9 years wait for the house to be sold. Being on a mortgage doesn't let you do any Help to Buy or similar schemes.
So for me, I have CMS, mortgage payments, student loan, and this all means I have no option to buy even a garage as my affordability is severely restricted. My only option is house sharing at the moment and my daughters can't stay with me at all, so it is impacting me by not allowing me to move on, and also impacting my relationship with my daughters. I found one good service here, hope I will make some extra money. It is so deflating and there is little help for someone like me who works full time and has no access to support to enable a brighter future for myself and my children. I know they are happy as they didn't have to get uprooted, but it is completely at the detriment of my own life, and I feel very much restricted and subhuman because of the living situation I am in.
If anyone has managed to navigate out of this situation then let me know as it is hard. And my advice to anyone going through the process to establish what happens to the house, get off the mortgage if you can because it will make your life, and the lives of your children compromised way beyond what you even initially imagined.
I understand you, it's a difficult situation. Hope you get through all of this.
And as for getting off the mortgage, unfortunately, not everything is as simple as we would like. But I agree with you.
A bit of an update on this and it hasn't really improved. I've gone through solicitors as my ex keeps making what feel like unfair demands. But ultimately she will win it seems as she's seen as primary carer (has them a smidge more than I do) and lives in the 'family' home. My solicitor has put forward 2 proposals-
1. She stays in the house until the youngest child is 18 (so 13 years away), I maintain my share of the house but contribute nothing. I get a small amount now which is half the savings and that's that.
2. We sell the house, she can port the good mortgage rate and all the proceeds from the sale onto a new property. I hold some stake in that new house, then same rules apply until kids hit 18. I get a small amount now.
Apparently if we went to court regarding this they would make sure ids and therefore mum are okay first. Kids I am fully onboard with obviously, who wouldn't be. And I can get my head around ex having a small win to keep this moving forward. But this doesn't feel like a small win for her, it's potentially 2 big wins and a very long time for me to rent and try and move on.
So a bit confused and also utterly baffled at what a fair settlement looks like.
A bit of an update on this and it hasn't really improved. I've gone through solicitors as my ex keeps making what feel like unfair demands. But ultimately she will win it seems as she's seen as primary carer (has them a smidge more than I do) and lives in the 'family' home. My solicitor has put forward 2 proposals-
1. She stays in the house until the youngest child is 18 (so 13 years away), I maintain my share of the house but contribute nothing. I get a small amount now which is half the savings and that's that.
2. We sell the house, she can port the good mortgage rate and all the proceeds from the sale onto a new property. I hold some stake in that new house, then same rules apply until kids hit 18. I get a small amount now.
Apparently if we went to court regarding this they would make sure ids and therefore mum are okay first. Kids I am fully onboard with obviously, who wouldn't be. And I can get my head around ex having a small win to keep this moving forward. But this doesn't feel like a small win for her, it's potentially 2 big wins and a very long time for me to rent and try and move on.
So a bit confused and also utterly baffled at what a fair settlement looks like.
The proposals your solicitor has put forward indeed seem to present significant challenges and a long-term commitment. It's positive that you're prioritizing the well-being of your children, but finding a fair balance for both parties is crucial for a sustainable resolution.
Consider discussing with your solicitor the possibility of mediation or alternative dispute resolution methods. These approaches can sometimes lead to more mutually agreeable solutions while avoiding the lengthy and costly court process.
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