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So, if you have read my other posts you will know me and the missus are splitting up. her boy from her previous marriage will stay with her. our daughter will come with me.
Last night she announced she wants a no maintenance agreement 'to protect us both'
I don't feel inclined to sign this for various reasons.
1. If she had my daughter I would expect to pay something towards her upkeep.
2. We have amassed 30k of debt which I have taken on. I will be saddled with this for 5 years and it will destroy my credit rating for 10 years. Given that I am 48 and don't own my own house anymore, thats not good.
3. I paid 10s of thousands of pounds to get her through a masters degree which she will now be able to use to earn a good living
4. Whilst doing the above I worked 70-100 hours a week to support us, damaging my health and life expectancy in the process.
5. I put my own career on hold while she did this and have lost opportunities for training and development in my own career
6. I paid thousands for her and her son in visas to become UK residents
7. I have paid thousands for her to learn how to drive
8. despite the above, she still hasn't passed a test so expects me to drive 120 miles each way to deliver our daughter for access visits
9. I had to borrow 70k off my parents to help support us which came by way of an advance on inheritance, so any inheritance I might have had is now gone
10. I am now 48 and because of the above I have an old age of poverty and work to look forward to!
Any thoughts on the matter?
What do you get out of it if you sign the agreement? As opposed to what happens if you don't?
Once you have this information, I would then speak to the CMS to see what their view of these are? If this is part of a divorce (apologies, I can recall if you are married or not), then the maintenance agreed in the divorce can be overridden by the CMS in 12 months time, so you could get the advantage from her by signing the agreement, knowing that it won't hold anyway. If you aren't married, then I'm not sure whether it would even last 12 months - as I say, speak to the CMS regarding this.
Would agreeing to it indicate a preference that could later be taken into account against me by CMS?
yes, I am married (at the moment!)
I'm going for custody of my daughter so I think the wife is trying to get out of future maintenance payments. She has just finished a masters and has the potential to earn a lot more than I currently do if she pulls her finger out. On the other hand, if she doesn't pull her finger out I suppose there is always the possibility she might try and claim spousal maintenance from me, so it could go either way.
A little footnote is she is pursuing a claim for industrial injury against her current employer, so there might be the possibility of a sizeable payout!
As above, I have invested a lot of myself and my money in her professional training and development, so I don't have too much guilt about the idea of claiming maintenance from her if the opportunity arose.
...I doubt agreeing to it would be held against you later. As actd says if future maintenance payments form part of any divorce settlement, this would only stand for 12 months...after that point you could open a claim with CMS for maintenance.
...you make some valid points for reasons not to sign an agreement.
I still think it's worth weighing up the long term view - as I said, check with the CMS that it can be overriden in 12 months, and if so, what is the cost to you of agreeing to it for 12 months, and then getting maintenance via CMS (by which time she could be on target for a high earning salary, and won't want to give that prospect) despite signing the agreement, against the idea of not signing the agreement and presumably losing out in other ways. Also, if her degree gives her good earning power, I would think a divorce court is less likely to award spousal maintenance - and don't forget that this won't be overriden when the CMS step in, they only have powers with regards to child maintenance.
Your ex sounds like a 'take take take' kind of person to me.
Now she wants to 'keep keep keep' by avoiding maintenance for your daughter.
There's no way I'd be signing that agreement mate. Your daughter will need that money and has a right to it.
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