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Needs some advice/suggestions please.
We are considering mediation to agree our financial split - and being very 'green' I am concerned about painting a too positive or negative picture.
I moved out a few months ago and subsequently met a great woman and am living with her - wonderful!
I am now starting the divorce proper and my wife has been pushing for a mediated settlement. It was suggested to me that before I go to mediation I make a log/spreadsheet detailing my actual living costs before I attend any mediation as I would then be dealing in facts.
A few questions:
I am paying £700 to my girlfriend to cover rent and bills (bar council tax) - will this be an issue as we are co-habiting?
What is a sensible amount to log for entertainment - 5-10% of income? (and is entertainment a valid cost in the eyes of the mediator/court?)
How do you account for costs like running a car (non-petrol) ?
Anyone have a list of items I should look to include?
So far I have included:
Rent
Council tax
Credit cards
Loans
fuel
food
laundry
Exercise/fitness
phone
car maint (estimated annual divided by 12)
Entertainment
Opticians
Car insurance
Clothes
Children expenses (paid for by me, not the child maintenance)
Hi there,
The easiest way to answer this is too list everything you spend money on. Entertainment is a valid experience and so is car maintenance so just add an amount that would cover it.
GTTS
I have to say entertainment can be considered valid but you also down gym etc, looking at it from a legal and female point of you, do those look like you are shoving someone's nose in it, ie. does she have gym and entertainment....£700 for rent and bills could be considered high (not knowing what area you live in) bearing in mind you are meant to be paying half the rent/mortgage and bills. What is that compared to your mat home? Of course you could live in London where prices are astronomical! And you have listed food, but food would be part of your rent as you are living with someone, as would laundry.
If your ex is aware you are living with someone you have to look at the amount you spend, ie. £700 because that could include food and your new partner should also be paying for food, or paying for food out of rent.
These are issues that solicitors/mediators will look at.
GTTS is right though, list everything you spend money on, including extra ie. school uniform for the children...
Living on the south coast, so not cheap but no quite London prices. The £700 includes council tax but not food, toiletries or consumables.
I'm currently paying the while mortgage and child maintenance which come to around £1500 a month.
I was paying all our loans which meant I was paying out 50% of my income (and also giving her extra for living expenses) before I even started to look at my own living expenses. I have now stopped paying the loan in her name and stopped the extra money, partly because I was advised not to ( it could set unrealistic expectations/a precedent ) but also because I just can't afford to do it.
I have been forced out of my marital home and am essentially starting an entirely new life. I am continually being hounded for more money to cover kids stuff which should be taken care of by the maintenance. The problem is that the household bills are such that my wide uses the maintenance to pay all the bills and because she doesn't work full time or earn enough she is always short.
Sure, I could not spend money on entertainment/leisure but If I do that; what is the point in just existing? My new relationship is great but I need to nurture it or else I may well ending up in a small flat alone and working solely to pay for a life which I don't live.
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