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Hi Everyone 🙂
Haven't posted in a while but need some advice please, if poss?
I lost my tribunal for ESA back in April and since then, I haven't been able to work still nor, have I been able to sign (or earn ANY money) on as I am living with a partner who earns her own money but, I have nothing and I am miiiles away from my youngest children (who I see regularly but it's not good enough).
I am feeling so very low currently as i can't see my children regularly enough and this is causing a little stress between myself and my ex, which is understandable but we are very good friends though, on the surface anyway and that is fine. Of course, my pride is shattered too as i have no income and my partner pays for ALL the costs/food/travel . . even when my kids come to stay, and I really MUST make this better for us all in the long-run.
My question is this: I DESPERATELY need to be able to sign on until I can find some part-time work or start to use my craft again to earn money as self-employed (which is what I did b4 getting very ill couple of yrs ago). My eldest daughter is moving into her own house very soon and this is much closer to my younger children. She has said i can stay any time for any period and will help me facilitate being closer to the younger children and i can also take them there to stay as we are all very close and they love their Big Sis very much 🙂
So, is it possible to claim Housing Benefit to pay towards me living there if I live with my daughter? Am I able to sign-on if I live my eldest daughter?
I just need a little advice on that if possible please. I really hate being stuck in this situation as it is bringing me down and it really is doing nothing to help support my children financially nor, help them with my role as parent.
My relationship has to come 2nd because eventually, my partner wants to move closer anyway so that is all positive. She just can't do it yet but for now, I cannot wait and i cannot carry on earning not one penny, it's demoralising and completely embarrassing as a man to feel so useless.
Thank you for any advise you can give me, it will be greatly appreciated 🙂
Hi
I would say you would need to speak to the benefits office to get a clear answer on this, otherwise you could find yourself in trouble if they consider that you are defrauding the system. I would think, but I may be wrong,that to have any chance of claiming, you would have to be living with your daughter for the vast majority of the time and this would have a serious effect on your relationship with your partner.
Hi actd and thnks for response.
Firstly, I'm not intending on defrauding the system at all! Let's get that straight. The problem is two-fold isn't it: a) if I move away from my GF to be nearer to my children and do the right thing (even tho she cannot at the moment) then yes, my relationship may suffer but - b) if i do not make an effort to be a more responsible father right now in the shorter term and choose to stay where I am, then my relationship with my children suffers and I can't bare to carry that burdon much longer, it's tearing me in half.
I have been told to stop carrying my guilt, I get lost in the fog of it all sometimes and having no income means I have no choices, I am basically stuck. So, this way I may be able to slowly forge a plan ahead. I also don't want to 'put' on my eldest daughter either. She has her own life and doesn't really want me living with her all the time I'm sure. it's just that I am seeing it as a way to step forward.
If I could find work and i could afford a deposit etc, I would simply get my own place nearer but right now, that is impossible. I do not want to ruin my relationship with my GF but, i have been in this situation for too long now due to illness and it's really depressing me, upsets the kids as they don't see enough of me and is beginning to effect my good relationship with my ex, which i also do not want to spoil.
just looking for other fathers in similar situations to give me some advice/support really.
I guess - even tho it may not be perfect - that for now, i forge ahead with my GF and try to get a place 'together' which is closer. At least I DO see my children and they DO get to come stay here with me once or twice a month and half the holidays and i know some Fathers are less fortunate, so I should consider myself lucky there I guess.
Small steps hopefully will work - as long as my goal stays true to my role as a father - which is incredibly important to me - then I can only hope that things will fall into place soon.
Thnks for any support/advice anyone can give 🙂
Hi
Sorry if I gave the wrong impression of your motives, it wasn't intended. I would say that your positive attitude an excellent way forward, and it sounds as if your GF is being very supportive, which really will help you a lot - I know than my (now) wife helped me massively through some of my trickiest problems.
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