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Evening all.
I split from the ex (girlfriend) just over 6 weeks ago after 20 years. We have never pooled our finances apart from the mortgage which is in joint names. She paid some bills and I paid what was left.
She wants to sell the house, I want to buy it. But because of previous late payments and a couple of defaults in the last year im finding it difficult to obtain a mortgage on the high street, but have not yet given up hope.
Received a letter from her solicitors saying I have 14 days to obtain three estimates from estate agents and then it HAS to go on the market. It also mentions that if neither of us is financially able to buy out the interest of the other then the property is to be sold.
As I am still pursuing my desire to purchase the property, I would say I have not yet exhausted all options.
I did tell her that the last late payment was September 2014, and I will have to wait until September this year to be able to buy the property. I believe she is jointly responsible for the late payment, if I have to pay then so does she. And then it started !!!!
She has a credit card in her name, its never been in my possession and her brief is asking I pay 50%. In her words its a joint credit card in her name. I have told her to get off.
She has purchased a suite in her friends name, first thing I knew was when she told me to get rid of the old one. She has asked for half of that. Personal debts she has with her parents, paying for a trip to New York for her and our daughter for her 18th amongst other things.
Morally I know what I should pay, legally what should I or shouldn't I pay.
I do not have any debts, the ones I did have I have settled myself. Credit cards, store cards and catalogues etc. I offered we attend Mediation, she flatly refused. She has told me today, that she will take me to court, she will win and it will cost me a fortune because it will all go in her favour.
I have made an appointment to see a Solicitor this week. I just need some simple advice prior to the meeting. Just to put my mind at rest
PS. We both still live at the joint property with our son
Thanks for reading
Al
Hi there
I'm not really up on the financial side of separation, but as far as credit cards in her name only, then she would be liable to repay.
Why don't you write back to her solicitor and offer to help her with the payments that she is liable for on the condition that she cut you some slack and give you until September to put alternative mortgage arrangements in place....just a thought.
This might be useful
http://www.advicenow.org.uk/data/files/financial-order-june2014-final-1628.pdf
It would be worth having a word with the Citizens Advice Bureau, and possibly having a short consultation with a solicitor (free 30 mins if you can get it, but even paying for an hour will probably save you thousands) - personally, I think her solicitor is blustering in the hope you will panic, I don't think she'll win - you weren't married, so a lot of the protection that marriage offers, she won't benefit from.
I've learned in the 3 months I've been going through my situation that Solicitor's letters don't really mean much. A Solicitor can't 'tell' you what to do or how a situation will end up. They send letters with very 'final' tones to them in the hope that
1. You'll be frightened into acquiescing to their demands and/or
2. You'll feel threatened enough to go and get your own solicitor to 'fight' them hence earning lots of money for both Solicitors.
It's all part of their game.
I would say that you'd be jointly liable for any debt in joint names. Any other 'personal' debt she's accrued are hers only.
I'd take advice from Stepchange on this mate.
Well I went to see a solicitor yesterday. As I already knew her debts are hers, even loans she has with her parents.
Morally I should pay some towards, but I was asked if an agreement was in place for both of us to be liable, which there is not. Simple, she said.....dont pay it.
A letter of response will be sent to her brief with an offer to buy her out. Its not the value she requested, but hey ho, we can all play the game.
Thanks for the replies.
Alan
If you feel any moral duty to pay anything at all, then keep this back until the final outcome - you may change your mind depending on the final arrangements.
I was in a very similar situation a few years ago. I explained in my correspondence to her solicitors that if any debt had my name attached to the credit then i would be happy to pay... knowing full well that this debt was in her name and she would need to cough up the cash when the proceeds of our house were sold.
Evidently contact time with our daughter was reduced and this did make things extremely hard for me.
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