[Solved] Initial stages of seperation - advice appreciated

I am rapidly learning from the advice these guys give on here.

I have not agreed to a divorce on the grounds of my unreasonable behaviour as it is simply not true. I am now waiting for her solicitor to come back to me on next steps which I believe will be court action to force the settlement of finances and property.

My only advice to you with knowing what I know now, I would push for a divorce so all matters can be resolved and you sort out your finances and property. I lost my remortgage and cannot get another one until the debt is clear substantially. My only option as I thought was to drag my heels in because she has pissed around with delaying stuff and now it could be the case where the family home is now forced to go on the market.

I understand your comment about causing tension mate but at the end of the day, if your marriage is over, why drag it on for another couple of years. Had I agreed to a divorce 4 months ago, everything would have pretty much been sorted by now. She would have signed the house over to me for a settlement payment, had a share of my pension benefit but it would have been sorted. Cos of my own stubborness with the divorce reason and not agreeing, we have reached stale mate and she will take it to court

Just have a think about what it is you are trying to achieve and get all your ducks in a row. If you are really worried about her mounting up debts and then asking for more, the sooner you divorce the better as you have that protection.
It's a bitter pill to swallow and I totally get where you are coming from but you need to protect yourself and secure your future.

Cheers
DD41

With my first divorce (I've had a couple, I don't intend to have any more), it was quite amicable and no children involved, so I told my ex to come up with some grounds for unreasonable behaviour and I'd agree to it - I did feel upset for a day or so when I saw the grounds, but I got over that fast enough as I knew it was simply a means to an end.

Hi AnDad,

I know that when I went through my divorce there was also talk of a "clean break order" which effectively means that if the order was completed on the Friday, and I won the lotto on the Saturday, she wouldn't be entitled to anything... Not sure if a clean break order or similar can be affected without a divorce, but maybe worth looking into something along those lines?

Worst case, you could do with some form of legal paperwork showing that she agrees to relinquish any potential entitlement to the house... but then it's getting into the realms of solicitors etc, and you may as well be heading down the divorce route.

I understand why you are reluctant to file for a divorce, given that you will be unable to agree a two year separation, but it really does appear to be the best way to protect yourself from any financial recourse.

BD