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Hi
I'm new to the site but have read a few topics that briefly touch on some issues I'm having. I need some help as I'm almost at my limits mentally and financially.
Firstly, I divorced my cheating ex wife 5 months ago who resides with my 2 children in our marital home. I am paying 100 % of the mortgage and up until a few months ago was covering her bills. I pay for 50% of the kids school bits and pieces such as trips and clubs. Her maintenance money is paid towards the mortgage which equates to 50 % of the total amount.
We have been through mediation for the initial session and one to go through the financial sheets. She is actually in a much better position than I am even though my salary is greater. She gets wages, tax credits, child benefit and the csa / mortgage payment.
The problems are that I rent with my new partner and her 2 children and she is currently nearly 7 months pregnant. I am also facing redundancy is approx 2 months time! We have approached my ex partner several times using many different tacts regarding selling the house, as when I moved into my partners home she lost her entitlement to tax credits and my wages simply do not cover a mortgage and rent plus living costs!
My ex is very defensive when the topic is approached even when offering her 75% equity in the house as well as all the possessions within it which I paid for! She has no use for a 4 bedroom home as can't pay for the mortgage on her own. We remortgaged the house last year to pay off the £45000 debt she had accumulated during the time of the relationship.
I really hope someone out there can help me in some way as myself and my partner are getting stressed by all of this and just can't see a way out of the mess
Cheers
Hi There,
Firstly I just want to touch on your maintenance payments, be careful how this is paid as there needs to be a record to cover your back that you are paying, if you are covering half the mortgage directly then she could claim that you aren't paying towards the children, the payment needs to be made through her bank (logged as child maintenance) or directly to her (with reciept).
With regards to selling the house, hopefully mediation could help with that discusion as if not there is no way of enforcing the sale of the house without taking it to court for a judge to make that order, as she can't afford to cover the mortgage on her own, I would suspect that a judge would order the sale of the property so that you can get a clean break.
The bad news is that until the house is sold, or you are removed from the mortgage you are responsible for both half the morgtgage and actually child maintenance on top of that.
You are in a tough place, and it seems like your options are quite limited at the moment if you can't get her to agree to selling the house.
I would talk to the mediator before your next session and ensure that there will be time set aside to discuss this with your ex.
GTTS
If you are unemployed, then you are only liable for a flat £7 per week under CMS, assuming you are on benefits - if you don't have a case open with CMS, then I'd open one now (unless the divorce specified child maintenance, in which case, that stands for 12 months, but you could try to get that varied due to the change in circumstances) - that might be enough to push your ex into selling the house. As long as your redundancy is less than £65k (well total assets less than £65k excluding the house), then that isn't taken into account for the maintenance calculation.
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