Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Hi there,
I am completely new to this forum, but think I signed up a while back, so please go easy on me if I have impinged on any forum rules etc, but I am just after a bit of advice/guidance more than anything.
I separated from my wife back in April 2016, since when I left the marital home and have been living at my parents. I paid all the same house bills and contributions to the debt up until August 2016, when I received a letter from the CMS. I then severed a lot of the financial stuff and ceased to pay towards the bills as I could not afford to pay those as well as the CMS payments. My wife and I own the marital home together and have joint debt of around £25k which is in my name alone (stupid I know).
Since separating, my wife has made ridiculous accusations of abuse etc and contacted the police, courts and social services numerous times to try and get me in trouble. I was issued with an harassment order warning in September 2016 despite having done nothing wrong.
During this time I was still going round to the shared marital home to visit my son regularly, but did not want to have him overnight until I had secured my own property. It became apparent in November that I would not be able to move out of my parents any time soon due to financial constraints and I asked to have my son overnight. My wife refused and this went to court, where I was forced to deny a series of absurd claims and I eventually secured overnight access in May 2017 after 6 months of court battles.
I had hoped that this was the end of a lot of the troubles, with my harassment warning due to expire in September 2017 and my divorce was imminent also, however after a disagreement in September 2017 my wife returned to her old ways and contacted the police, courts and social services once again.
My wife had applied for a non-molestation order, which I am due to attend another hearing for in February, but in the meantime I have been told that I cannot go within 50 metres of the house etc - which is ridiculous as I haven't been there for months. I am hopeful that this will be overturned.
Earlier in the year I had drafted a solicitor to deal with the financial aspects of the divorce and she made several attempts to contact my wife to initiate discussions. After several attempts and no response, I had told my solicitor to initiate a financial order in August, which is when I found out that my wife had already applied and the first hearing for which was yesterday,
I had learnt from mediation and previous discussions that my wife had no intention of contributing to the debt, which she was doing before August 2016 and that she wanted me to sign the house over to her for free, forfeiting my ownership/capital in the house. My solicitor had told me that it was unlikely that the courts would force her to sell the house because of my son and I yesterday learnt that the courts cannot order for her to contribute to the debt which is in my name. There are also no other real assets or savings on her part.
So, thank you if you're still reading this (I felt like a bit of background might be useful). I guess I am looking for advice on the non-molestation order, but more specifically what my options are in terms of recouping her share of the debt and my stake in the house should I not be able to get it sold. Has anyone been through this themselves?
Many thanks!
Jack
Is the debt co-signed?
If so, then the financial order would likely address this no matter that it was SHE who applied.
If the debt is not co-signed, then you are on shaky ground. The route I would probably take would be to sue for divorce without delay.
Divorce judge has the power to consider all expenses incurred during co-habitation. As long as you can show that it was of joint benefit.
The debt is entirely in my name unfortunately. It includes a load of credits cards and two loans, but was used for mutual purhcases, hence it was always understood to be a 50/50 joint debt. It was in my name as I am better with money, which is probably ironic now.
I think the hearing I attended yesterday is for a finance order, is that different or the same as suing for divorce? Also, I got divorced in September, does this matter?
Thanks for your reply - it's much appreciated.
Jack
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.