DAD.info
Forum - Ask questions. Get answers.

Thanks for joining us on the forum – glad to have you here. You are welcome to post 24/7 but please note that whilst we have forum moderators we will only be moderating the forum during office hours. If though you need urgent crisis help, please contact Samaritans on 116 123.

Spurgeons and Dad.Info doesn’t investigate reports of abuse or neglect. But below, you can find advice on who to contact if you have concerns about a child or young person.

 

Reporting a concern

It can be difficult to know what to do if you think a child is at risk. It’s important to remember that if you’ve spotted things that don’t seem right, others will have too. Speaking up can make sure that child gets help as soon as possible.

 

The sooner you contact your local children’s social care duty team, the quicker they can act. They’re available 24 hours a day, and can make an anonymous report if that feels safer. If a child is in immediate danger, please call the police straight away by dialling 999.

 

Report child abuse or neglect to your local council

Use these links to get in touch with your local council:

Financial conundrum...
 
Notifications
Clear all

[Solved] Financial conundrums

 
(@hamilton)
Active Member Registered

Hello All,

Looking at my impending divorce i have been round in circles with regards to financial issue's and all the potential permutations. So here goes, So far everything is very amicable and want to be very fair. Marriage lasted 18years 2 kids aged 13 and 16, joint parenting will be the order of the day but most likely a bias towards myself especially for the eldest. I have paid from day 1 all financial commitments and also accrued a large amount of savings now 50/50 split. The mortgage is almost gone and the house has approx 150K of collateral. My wife and i met when she was just finishing UNI and she never had a career before we started a family, once the kids were at full time school she started part time working and is now in full time employment and training up to become a full blown teacher ( i paid for the training and her degree fees ). What puzzles me is that looking at my wages it might likely that she recieves far more than me from the split on the basis that i can afford to start again. BUT i am 47 worked all my life and always paid for everything also if such a decision was made literally upon signing i could lose my current job and be completely down and out having given everything to her. I have no professional qualifications such as a degree and know i would never get near my current wages if i lose my current job. Currently all is well via mediation but i was interested to know if the courts are so narrow sighted to make hugh decisions based on todays circumstances only. Thanks for any info

Quote
Topic starter Posted : 07/08/2013 1:00 am
(@dadmod4)
Illustrious Member

This is one where you need specific advice from someone legally trained in this area. I would have thought that the fact that your youngest is only a few years of being independent, then it would be unjust to weigh heavily in your ex's favour. However, as you said it's amicable at the moment, if you can come to an agreement, even if you have to compromise a little more than you would like, it might save you far more than you would otherwise spend on legal fees.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 07/08/2013 11:34 pm
(@hamilton)
Active Member Registered

Thanks,

One thing that plays on my mind is that at present my kids have a secure home i.e. very small mortgage so even if i lost my job i could maintain the house for them. When we divorce the current plan is looking like i will buy the ex out, at that point the house is at risk and so will any house the ex buys. My priority is to ensure the kids have a secure home up to adulthood. I even considered buying a lesser property so that any new mortgage is less, in fact when i had a chat with the bank they are willing to loan me the money to buy the ex out but they need proof that i can pay when retired i.e. my pension will facilitate this, if i give half my pension to her then this wont be possible.

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 08/08/2013 1:02 pm
(@Enyamachaela)
Honorable Member Registered

I would strongly advise legal help, although mediation is extremely good. Is it intended that the children will continue to live with you after the divorce?

ReplyQuote
Posted : 09/08/2013 2:25 am
(@hamilton)
Active Member Registered

Hi, the intention is to start at 50/50 but in reality its most likely both kids will be with me more and quite likely my eldest be 90% with me if not 100%. I am willing to pay maintenance for a while until her wages increase. I am going to base this on a nightly percentage rate in arrears so i only pay when she has them as that seems fair to me. I dont intend to pay spousal maint as i will not content her being nominated as the recipient of the child benefit payments and would not expect any % of that while the kids are with me even if they are with me the most.

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 09/08/2013 4:01 pm
(@Enyamachaela)
Honorable Member Registered

Hi Hamilton,

Sorry for the delay in coming back to you, lots going on. I am afraid that pensions will be taken into account and why I strongly recommend legal advice certainly worth it for definition on where you stand. The fact that at least 1 child will be with you for most of the time if not 100% will also be taken into consideration, giving you a further allowance as such insofar as the property is concerned, but you could pay the price in your pension allowance. Its swings and roundabouts I am afraid. You could also consider using the reasons you have given age etc and its a home for the children, i.e. their inheritance.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 18/08/2013 12:52 am
Share:

Pin It on Pinterest