Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Hi All,
I'm new here so I will give you a background. I am a 24 year old father of 2 (2 and 5). Separated from my ex-partner in 2014 and now live with my wife and 2-year-old daughter.
The issue is a huge amount of our finances are devoted to me being able to see my 5 year old son. When my ex-partner left she moved 115 miles away. When my daughter was born my wife was adamant they couldn't share a bedroom, and hence we had to have a 3 bedroomed property at extra expense. +every other weekend (more when I can) I make the 230 mile round trip twice, once to pick him up, and once take him back. On top of this, I am required to pay CSA to my ex. This is a huge burden on our finances and means we struggle to make ends meet for our daughter.
Because of this my wife blames my son, and say that me and my entire family 'favourite' him because we spend the money to see him. This is not the case, but I cannot abandon him purely because my ex moved him away, and If i didn't pay I would never see him.
How can I stop my wife from hating my son so much!!?
Hi There,
I can see how this would cause tension, finances are often the cause of issues and arguments,
Have you been in contact with child maintenance about your travel costs? they do have options for a reduction to cover travel if over a certain distance, though I forget what that is.
I would also check that you are getting the reduction for your daughter who lives with you as that should also be taken into the calculation.
GTTS
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.