Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
I have been separated for two years and have been paying more than the CSA calculation for having my children 9 nights a month. Last June I refused the option with my previous employer to transfer under TUPE to another company who then would supply services to my then employer. Instead I decided that I would go contracting with a competitor for a fixed 12 month contract.
It has been a battle for a contact order to be agreed for my two children to see me (13 and 11) I have always asked for a 50-50 split the children often refuse to come and say they don’t like me taking them to school. My ex says I should have them Friday to Sunday evening, every inset day (not over night) and half of all holidays. This is not something I have agreed to especially now she has come back with she needs more money to pay the mortgage and needs additional money for a residential school trip for the youngest and support to pay for the childcare.
Based on the CSA calculation I am paying more, I am currently living with a new partner and her two children and have my own living costs, which at the moment I am scrapping through but am unable to save any money.
My solicitor seems to think I should pay more and at the financial hearing in March I am told I will probably be asked to pay spousal support. This doesn’t seem right to me, my income and my ex’s income are similar, and our pensions are equal. I am not drawing all the money out of my limited company I am using for contracting, as I have no contract lined up for July onwards and have business expenses to pay (VAT, Corp Tax etc..) which is why I have a buffer in the business account.
I am at a lost how to approach this, I hope they won’t come after my partners income and I can’t see why my ex and her solicitor keep pushing for more money, it was interesting that my ex’s solicitors stopped saying I was under paying on child support once my P60 and form Es were exchanged.
Anyone been through anything similar? What should I do?
Thanks in advance
Your solicitor is probably best placed to advise you here as they will know your case and individual circumstances. Your partner's income shouldn't be taken into account but if you're earning a lot more than your ex, it might be that you will end up paying spousal support.
Perhaps as a gesture of goodwill you could discuss sharing the costs of the school trip with her? Whilst maintenance supports your child, a trip like that is definitely a luxury. It's up to you on that and I know our dads here will all have differing opinions on that as an extra. Personally I would want to share costs on something like that rather than have my child miss out.
Thank you
I have offered to contribute to the school trips but this has been refused in the past and the school have been told I am not part of the family unit. My ex is demanding I pay the mortgage and is now after maintenance for the house and that I pay for child care in the school holiday and child maintenance!
Ex has declared on her form e that her annual wage is £35k and I earn £40k so not much in it at all. My credit rating is going to be ruined (along with hers) when the house goes in arrears as today she said she will no longer pay the mortgage. I have no more income left and all my solicitor has advised is that I don’t let the mortgage go I to arreras! Not sure how I can magic money out of the air!
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.