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Hi Dad's,
I am in an awful situation and i am hoping somebody can give me some advice.
My partner of 14 years put an end to our relationship early Sept this year. I had seen it coming and was prepared for this mentally. We have two ypung children aged 9 and 6.
For the first 3/4 weeks after the seperation, i have my children residing with me. My ex would only see them for 1 hour per day and dispite my best efforts, she wasnt interested in seeing them for longer.
One day i had taken my children to school and i received an email from a solicitor ceasing contact with my children. She claimed i had intimadated her to agree to the current areangements and that it is not in my boys best interest. She also claimed i had been driving illegally which isnt true!
I asked a solicitor to reply and after a couple of emails my ex offered weekend visits every fortnight. I accepted until we could sit down via mediation to discuss a shared care areangement.
My children want to be with me. Their mother is attempting to posion my children by filling their heads with rubbish but fortunatly they dont beleive its true! My children are hearing things that theu shouldnt be hearing and i am concerned for their emotional state.
My children came to me this weekend and advised me that they have been staying with my ex's relatives overnight as she works in the early hours of the morning. Not only is she not allowing me to see my children but she isnt even having them herself!! They also advised me that their grandparents have threatend to hit them if that cry for me which is terrible as my children should be given reassurance and not punished for wanting their dad! Also they informed me that their grandmother hit my eldest child on Thursday. I informed social services who dont seem to be concerned.
I have use my parental rights to keep my children with me. I have emailed my ex's solicitor advising her i will be keeping the children until suitable areangements are agreed and concerns arw discussed. I await her reply.
I also have the problen with solicitors fee's! To make an emergency application to court it will cost me £1500 which i do not have. I have offered mediation which she has not accepted so far. In my letter to her solicitors i asked her for a quick resolution to the situarion and to meet me to disccuss the arangments.
Please can anybody advise me on the situation i am in,and what i can do to ensure my boys have a happy upbringing. If anybody knows of any support i can get with solicitors fee's that would be much appreceated as i do not want to self represent while she has a solicitor.
Thank you,
Ben
Don't fret this can and will be sorted out there is absolutely no need to use a solicitor at all you can self represent at court and apply for a child arrangement order it is very doable I and many other dads have done this.
Before you can make an application for a CAO you have to try mediation the form you need is a c100 it will cost you £215 at that is it throughout the case you will need to get the mediator to sign off your c100 to say you have tried mediation then you can had your form in to the family court then the ball is rolling.
You'll have a good case as you have been parenting your children so much and all the courts are interested in is the welfare of your child and if the kids were happy with the contact they get with you they won't drastically reduce it.
You will get plenty of support on here with representing yourself there's loads of info at the top of the legal eagle section and if you are not to confident on your own you can have a mckenzie friend come to court with you.
I think you gain more respect off the courts going it alone and It's a lot quicker than having solicitors involved I done it and actually enjoyed it 🙂
Good luck with it all
slim 🙂
Hi Mr Slim,
Thank you for getting back to me. Your post has given me the confidence to fight this alone (with the help of you guys).
Its a dark place this battle and your feel alone! I will have a look through the fourm you suggested prior to filling out a form.
My ex has issued an emergency application to the courts (according to her solicitor) so i will be preparing my documentation tomorrow. I will need a lot of support with this and ive no doubt this website will be an amazing help!
Well dine with your achivements! I hope things are now settle and you are enjoyingrhe time you have with your children ☺
You do feel so alone and like theres no one to help it does feel daunting but once you get the first hearing out the way you'll be rocking it is hard and tough and you feel like your getting no where for at least half way through the case but we'll be here for support to be honest I think I'm a better person for it all.
I fought like a dog in court whilst I didn't see my baby for 10 months it was horrific but I'm so pleased I stuck in there as the set up with my daughter I have now is fantastic I couldnt of done it without the help of peeps on here especially the moderators.this time last year I was seeing my girl for 1 hour every 2 weeks in a stinking contact centre and I now have her every fri-mon every week without fail.
I'm so pleased with the way things are and I can be a dad my way without being in a [censored] relationship with her mother honestly she was a [censored] from [censored] for 2 years solid even though we are friends again and I've forgiven her for the sake of our daughter I could still give her a right hook every now and again lol
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