[Solved] Child benefit & working tax credit (shared access)

Hi there 🙂

This is just my opinion and I'm not legally trained but I think your solicitor is wrong! You have one of your daughters 24/7 and the other child 5 out of 7 days a week, in my book that qualifies you as the Parent With Care. You should be in receipt of all of the benefits and also child maintenance payments from your wife.

She chose to have the affair and to leave the marital home and therefore she must take responsibility for the consequences. If she tried to accuse you of being motivated by financial gain I honestly dont think she would have a leg to stand on....she left and the court have awarded interim Residency to you. As a single parent you are entitled to all the benefits and Child Maintenence from her. You dont have to discuss it with her, just contact the benefits office and they will set the ball rolling.

I might be wrong but the reason your wife has bought this NMO is so that she would qualify for Legal Aid. From April 1st Legal Aid was stopped for Family Law cases, except where there has been a history of DV! When she first went to see the solicitor he/she probably asked her if there was any history of this because she would get free legal representation if there was...its not beyond the realms of possibility that she decided to go down that route....it seems to be something that some women do as there are quite a few Dads here that tell the same story!

Is there no one that can step in and mind your daughter at the weekend? One of her friends maybe, or a family member? Just whilst you sort the benefits out.

Best of luck with it all 🙂

Thanks for the reply, I'd usually have my mother and father on a weekend/anytime but they are on holiday at the moment. So I'll be OK for childcare if required in a fort nights time.
I got hit with NMO as I did make a mistake very early in our marriage, but for 13 years never put a foot wrong. I was originally not allowed unsupervised contact with my kids but all that changed overnight. I'm torn because I don't want my wife to suffer as she'll have no money and being honest I have concerns about this man she met on the internet after what my 13 year old has said. I stupidly can't let go of her and still hope she'll come back.

Claiming the benefits won't effect the current arrangement? I don't want to be seen as a money grabber. I was toying with the idea of placing the money (although it won't be loads) into trust for the kids until permanent residency is sorted.

I currently hold the moral high ground and I don't want anything to change that.

...if she felt so strongly about your "mistake" she would have reported you when it happened, not 13yrs later! It was advantageous for her to dig it up and use it against you...just my opinion.

I can understand that you still have feelings for your wife, that doesnt just stop when things go wrong. Its early days, if your wife decides that she's made a mistake and wants to come back to you then its up to you what you will do about that if the times comes.... At the moment though you need to deal with the practicalities of daily life, you are entitled to the benefits and without them you are struggling financially. It doesnt look like you are money grabbing to me, it looks more suspect that she is hanging onto benefits that shes no longer entitled to!

Have you thought about representing yourself in court? There are lots of Dads here that have chosen to go down that route....its very doable and as you already have Interim Residency the biggest hurdle has been jumped successfully. There are some stickys at the top of the Legal Eagle section about self representing, why dont you have a read through....it would ave you an awful lot of money, solicitors are hugely expensive!

The child benefit is paid to the main carer for a reason - it's for them (ie you) to look after the children, not for your ex to live on, so it won't be seen as money grabbing, simply as a way of helping give the children a better standard of life. Strictly speaking, you are entitled to get maintenance from your ex also if she has an income or is on benefits.

Thanks for the replies. I will start the ball rolling Monday to claim said benefits. Just to add I got a letter today from CAFCASS informing me of their impending involvement.
I'll go a bit more into the story, my wife left moved into the home of a man whom I now suspect she's had a relationship with for several months. Moved the kids in with said Man, both kids massively unhappy. Gets a phonecall from minutes before NMO arrives telling me that eldest (13) is self harming (cutting) my wife has previously had severe mental health problems and was recently diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. She has made several attempts on her life, usually being foiled by me. Her greatest effort had to be intentionally (I found out after she admitted to paramedics and my parents) crashing our car at speeds of 70mph (I ain't joking) I stood by this woman, arranged legal representation etc when in hospital and I get hit with this. My family was always close and supportive to her, however this was the final straw and my own mam (who used to class herself as my wifes mam due to the lack of ability of her own mother) cut ties with her. This prompted my wife to move out of area as she has no one now in this area.
Both my kids go to school in the area in which I reside (an occupation order wasn't attached to the NMO, I did offer my wife the house), they are both happy and doing well in school and have friends and after school clubs in the area.
My eldest daughter has not self harmed since returning home and has stated she will not go to see Mum whilst she is involved with her new boyfriend. I do not bad mouth mum and have not told my daughter about the accident in the car, although she often asks about it.
Basically I guess what I'm asking for is advice on CAFCASS my next court appearance in June and also possibly divorcing my wife. Any help massively appreciated as it has been so far.