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Hi.
My new partner and I are looking to move in together. Her property is jointly owned with her husband (separated) and they have 2 kids (10 and 11 yo) who will reside with us.
We were discussing how we will split the bills up between us as a couple when I moved in and I brought up what I thought was a valid point.
I said, that due to the fact that the father pays Child support money to her each month, does that not mean that a split straight down the middle of all the bills, such as electricty, gas and food is a little disproportionate, as some of the money she receives through CS (and tax credits) should be used for those living expenses?
I'm not trying to penny pinch in any way but instead, I put my self in her shoes and thought that if I was to receive money for my kids then I wouldnt expect her to be paying half of what it cost.
Our relationship is solid however I got a firm look of distain when I brough this up with her as she thinks that what ever we bring in, we put in the pot. The problem I have as well.....my partner would be earning way more than me and she is by her own admission "a bit of a spender". I suppose I just dont want to enter into something that I would later regret, just because I dont have a clear perspective on what I should do.
My questions are as follows:
1) (the obvious one) Am I missing the point and do you think I'm off the mark with my approach? Really confused!
2) What ways in your experiences does it work well?
Thank you!
Hi There,
There are a few options really, you can either jump in fully and put all monies into one account and then draw from that for everything no matter what or who for, this option means that as she earns more and also has child benifits and csa that all of that goes into the same account as both your wages, so effectively she pays more but will probably also spend more.
The other is work out what all the bills will come to and then pay enough into a joint account to cover this (plus a little extra for unforseen expenses and pay half each but keep what's left of your wage for yourselves, you will pay 50/50 but again you won't be paying for her extravagance.
Last option is to try and split the bills/rent so that it works out fair, for myself I earn a larger wage so pay the rent and pay for up keep and fuel the car as it works out to be more than the food and bills and my partner pays for food and bills. we keep the rest of our money to cover what we need for ourselves
Darren
Hi Darren, thanks for your reply. With regards to your first point. I'm trying to get my head around that one. You said that both our earnings go into one pot, how does that mean she pays more? (e.g I earn 2000 pm, she earns 2500 pm and the bills are say 1500 pm. We still pay 750 each)
Cheers
Hi There,
You said that your partner spends quite freely and you didn't want to support that from your wage, if all the money goes into one account the account would be heathly and she would be paying in more in total.
If you look at just bills then yes you will pay equal, but expand that to non bills such as nights out, car expenses, christmas, Birthday holidays ect she will contribute more to the account so will effectively contribute more in total. its a different angle to look at rather than just looking at bills. The bills are actually a small amount of where money goes, when you consider nights/days out and other expenses does that make sense?
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