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Going through a divorce at the moment. She told me about 4 weeks ago. Two of our children are disabled and we are both full time carers, so we survive on benefits. She wants me out ASAP, nothing going on, no other woman, no violence or abuse etc. All three kids want to live with me, so she has said we can have joint custody which is great. But like i said, she has no patience and wants me to move out NOW! As i live on benefits, finding somewhere to live is not easy. i will not take a bedsit, as that means the kids can never stay with me. She thinks this is unreasonable? My question is: Can she force me to move out, seeing as it may take up to 6 months for me to find somewhere? And once i do move out, seeing as we have joint custody, will i recieve half the benefits so i can provide a home for my children half the week they are here? And if i decide that i wont move out at all, is there anything she can do, like change the locks etc? She cant really make my life any more miserable, she has done that for years, so that option is closed to her!! Any advice most welcome.
Hi
How old are your children and are the children mentally or physically disabled - sorry to ask this question, but it could have relevance to their competance to how much weight is taken of their opinions if it goes to court. It does seem to me that you are in as strong, if not stronger position than your ex to stay in the house while she moves out if your children wish to remain with you. I would have a word with your local council regarding benefits and housing, and also have a word with the Citizens Advice Bureau on your position regarding staying in the house, either permanently or temporarily.
Hi, thanks for the reply. 3kids, 13, 11 and 9. 11 year old has learning difficulties, and 13 year old daughter has life threatning attacks at random times all the time. Didnt think where they chose to live was taken into consideration? And if it is, would they have to go to court, as i dont think i could put them through that? I dont want to move out, thats the thing, it would be too hard for me to achieve, and i dont see why i should have to go throught that just because she wants me too? And do see why the kids should see me in a bedsit, again, just because she wants it. I dont want to be aqward with her, but for me and the kids it would be easier if i stayed? She is saying that if i dont leave, she will be forced to go to a one bedroom flat, but then she would go to court and ensure that she got the house and the kids. Is that what she could do, or should i encourage her to leave? And if she leaves, is she entitled to take the kids with her, or would she have to wait untill we went to court? I would like to keep this civil, as i know how mean she can be, and if i [censored] her off she will do anything and everything to take my kids from me, so any advice much appreciated. Also, does anyone else have experience of joint custody and living on benefits! By the way the house is in both names, but she has never worked since i met her and never brought one penny into the family, is that relevant? Thanks again.
Thanks for that information - I'll ask the CCLC to pop on and give an opinion, hopefully in the next day or so, so keep checking back here. I'd still have a word with the Citizens Advice Bureau regarding staying in the property.
Dear trfc09
We would be grateful if you would contact us to discuss your matter in more detail.
You can contact us via our webchat facility which can be found at www.childrenslegalcentre.com and is available Monday to Friday 9am to 6pm.
Alternatively you can contact our freephone advice line on 0808 8020 008 which is available Monday to Friday 8am-8pm.
We look forward to hearing from you.
Yours sincerely
CORAM CHILDREN’S LEGAL CENTRE
Hi, i have rang them, going to see the solicitors. Thanks for that.
Just wondering if anyone else had any advice or similar experiences please?
I can't think of anyone on here who has the same combination of factors that you have been through, but then that just proves that every case is different. Keep posting on here anyway, and we can provide moral support as well as general advice etc.
Hi There,
I don't have any experience but just wanted to comment that if you were to move out you would have made yourself homeless which as far as I know doesn't put you in too strong a possition with the council.
Darren
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