[Solved] Advice for my husband with relation to CSA

Hi and welcome to the forum.

Unfortunately, the CSA don't care about the reasons for reduced contact, they only go on the number of days of actual contact (and even then, if there's a dispute, they generally believe the resident parent) so they are only acting on the information given to them. It may be worth looking at mediation as a first step to getting the lost contact reinstated so that your husband can maintain the level of contact he had until recently.

With regards to her comments about him buying a new wardrobe of clothes, although she is morally wrong, unfortunately there's nothing at all he can do about this, and it's not uncommon. It might be worth starting to look around for bargains and checking charity shops - there's no reason why you husband should buy expensive clothes which will only be worn for a few weeks anyway.

Firstly as a Mum myself, I cannot believe your husband's children's Mum could be so horrible. It is the children who suffer at the end of the day.

My ex, regularly does not bring school clothes back but it is a different story if the clothes are his!

When your husband's children arrive, the clothes they came in when they are in bed can be washed, dried and ironed for when they go back to their Mum's house. She can then not accuse you of with holding clothes- it is [censored] for tat arguement's you want to steer clear from.

Charity shops are brilliant, or even ebay for kids clothes. I would just buy what they need for the time they are with you. Underwear is cheap enough at Asda,George etc- 4-5 pck of underpants or knickers from £3. Socks, may be a pck of 2 as in summer they may not need any at all. Have a look in all of the sales the stores have. I never buy my two's clothes at full price. Even their shoes are discounted at Clarkes outlet. I put all my children's clothes back on ebay when they have grown out of them, especially Next, Disney etc as they sell well. So an opportunity to recoup some money back after they have grown out of the clothes.

It is difficult I know, but at times you have to pick your arguements. Perhaps your husband could gently approach his children in regards to contact dependent on their age and ask them what they want. Perhaps also a free half hour consultation with a solicitor to see where you guys go from here.

Document everything, no matter how trivial you think it is- all evidence will be useful in putting a case together. Your Husband's ex wife has already started to dig her own grave by preventing access.

Hope this helps xx

I would like to advise that your husband thinks about trying mediation to get contact reinstated. If this is unsuccessful then your husband would be entitled to make an application to the court for an order that defines overnight and holiday contact. This could then be used to prove to the CSA how many nights he has his children and hopefully get the maintenance reduced back to it previous level.

Many Dads here self represent and there's plenty of information in the stickys at the top of the Legal Eagle section....but mediation might be enough for the mother to reinstate contact, after all it's about the children's right to have both parents fully involved in their lives.

Good luck

Hello
Had the same issue with my ex not letting me see my children,personally I would do what I did and take her to court it could ,will be expensive but mums and dads have equal rights over there kids unfortunately court is needed in most cases to enforse it.This will also help with the csa if you have a court notice.
But dependant on how old the children are, they as they get older start to make there own decisions about where they are going to be and dependant on there age what they say and where they want to be will lay heavy on the court.
My court case took over 12 months
I have a court notice now that the csa cant argue with but the 11 months my son lived with me prior to the court notice the csa wont believe he was with me.
The only way I could deal with the csa in my case was by my mp and being honest the hounding they have given me i wont stop now until there is a change in the law and there will be.
I have found the court system to be slow but farthers are seen more now than ever as a important part of there childrens well being.
I also attended a child welfare course over twelve weeks that was also a credible document in court.
What you should already have been doing is keeping a dairy of all issues in respect of your children and any information you have that makes your dairy entres have more substance.
It would be best if the parent could sort this, i hope that will be the solution but unfortunately in my case the above was completed to bring a better life for my kids.
Its my first post on here and sorry if i come across a bit hard and am only taking about my experience.
My advise would be if the parents cant sort it out speak to a good soliciter and make a decision from professional advise but remember it can get very expensive ,

My ex refuses mediation, something the courts cannot enforce but it does not put him in a good light because he refuses. My ex uses court to bully and intimidate me, as well as his partner who believes his lies. My kids know I put them first-always. And that is ll that matters. I really do hope you guys can sort thing's out, but to reduce conflict and to make your husband's children feel safe and loved- Do not make an issue over the clothes and all the trivial stuff. Do not comment on their mother in front of them, make your time a happy and stress free time with them xx

Sounds like a nightmare mate 🙁

I think you need to act quickly here so that a 'status quo' doesn't occur.

Offer her mediation and if she refuses seek a Child Arrangements Order. Unless she has compelling grounds for changing the current arrangements you stand a good chance of a successful outcome in my opinion.