Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
I am currently married to my husband, who has a beautiful 2 1/2 yr old daughter with a freaking psycho. I have been in a relationship with zachary since a week before his daughter was born, and it has been [censored] ever since. we have been to court 3 times in 2 years. and the mother keeps defying court orders. We have tried our hardes to accomodate to her wants and demands but we have had enough. just last week, she sent him a text message asking him to come pick up his daughter from her mothers house. she then proceded to freak out on him when we got there, saying he shouldnt have brought me with and screaming obscene names at him right in front of the child. My step daughter was screaming daddy at the top of her lungs, and the mother started BEATING MY HUSBAND ON THE BACK OF HIS HEAD WITH HER CELL PHONE WHILE HE HAD HIS DAUGHTER IN HIS ARMS! she screamed at my stepdaughter to be quiet and screamed at my husband that his daughter hates him and to stay out of her life. she then tried tearing the baby out of my husbands arms, which resulted in her ripping skin off the babys back. we left (with baby) and the psycho lady punched herself in the face and called the cops, saying my husband did it. He was freaking arrested! we have no idea what to do, obviously the courts dont take things seriously as we have been that route multiple times and she keeps retaining custody. where do we go from here? i am genuinely concerned with my stepdaughters well being while in her mothers care...
i should also say that she is quite unstable. she cant keep a job and lives in a one bedroom house with her grandparents. she does not even have a bed or crib for her daughter. she makes the child sleep on the floor or in her carseat. we went to court in may, and she got a job a week beforehand and quit 2 weeks after court. shes playing the legal system. she also uses all of the childsupport that WE pay on herself. she never feeds her daughter and pawns her off on her family and friends and goes out drinking and partying every night. she has said numerous times that she is jealous because my husband and i are married, and i am also pregnant. she does not think it is fair that he has commited to me, and does not think it is fair that we are starting our own family. My step daughter refers to me as mommy, and has always, way before she started calling her own mother mommy. the mom has brought the child to parties and has sent numerous text messages and emails to my husband threatening suicide, threatening to take his rights away, etc etc. we have over a thousand pages of text messages (literally) and the court ruled them all not useable for evidence because apparently they could have been photoshopped? they were direct screenshots from my husbands phone.
Hi Solson, did your partner tell the Police of the assault on him? What action did the police take?
What is your stepdaughter's well being like in other ways, is she clean, dressed well, happy to return to mother etc? do you have any other particular concerns?
Her behaviour is not appropriate in any way shape or form whether or not his daughter was present. Did you get any of it filmed/recorded?!
If you have serious concerns about your stepdaughter's well being, you would be able to contact Children Services. The other thing is that if the ex keeps on behaving like that front of the child, keeping the child yourself and apply for an Emergency Residence Order
You also have the option of enforcing the existing contact order. If you have tried that, you can go again for it, because while the Courts don't like doing it, they could eventually imprison her for breach of the order.
thank you for your reply.
he did tell the police his story, and they also got my statement as well as a witness, but there was never a report made. the police said there was nothing they could do about it since she filed a report first. the child is always in the same dirty outfit and neeevveerrrrr gets a bath unless we do it ourselves (we only get her for 5 hours twice a week)
Hi there 🙂
This situation is so upsetting for you all and most importantly there's a child at risk... the feeling of helplessness is just horrible and I know just how you feel.
The best advice I can give you is to keep a diary and record absolutely everything, if there are any injuries on the child take photos and if she attacks your husband again call the police as soon as she starts doing it, before she has a chance to....you could try taking photos on your mobile. Next time she calls and asks him to pick the child up, he would be within his rights to call the police and ask them to attend with him as he is afraid of false allegations being made against him. If she makes threats you can report these to the police too. Effectively you are building a case and gathering evidence.
Every time you have concerns call the Children's Services and report it to them, even though they may not act on it you can ask them to log your call and the reasons for it, and file it. This will help build a picture....I'm sorry I cant be more helpful, but you just have to stick at it for that little girls sake.
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.