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So I had my review today and guess what, my ex withdrew all her allegations of DV, on the basis that she wants to remain child focused and leave the past in the past! Loool 😆
What a load of bull!@£$ I believe my evidence scared the [censored] out of her and she knew she didn't have a chance if it went to a fact finding hearing, she would have just looked like a fool. I am sure her barrister advised her of this.
So i got exactly what I asked for through agreement and that is 3 hours twice a week of unsupervised contact starting tomorrow. To progress overtime to overnight.
Final hearing set in July, by then the judge expects me to be having overnights which will be discussed at mediation in 4 weeks time.
I am so happy now things are starting to get better!!
Her solicitor was very impressed by my passion and efforts to be involved in my child's life and I believe her solicitor was actually working in the child's best interest. No more £200 a week to see my child, money can now be put to good use.
To all other Dads out there! PLEASE DO NOT GIVE UP!
Thank you all for your comments!!
Yes I am very happy now, I feel like I have survived 12 rounds with Mike Tyson in his prime lol
What a relieve to be still here standing!
This has to be the hardest and most stressful part of my life!
The torture is immense to say the least, the destruction it does to the mind body and soul......
My advice to everyone in this situation is to not give up and fight until the very end!! You owe it to your child!!!
I strongly believe that it was my constant persistence to pursue a relationship with my child that swayed my ex to give in!!!
All is not done but I have climbed the steepest part of the mountain, now i am running to the top and I will do my best to make sure I have my child 50% of the time and she gets what she deserves
Yes NJ I was completely shocked when her solicitor was talking to me, it felt weird. She was really praising my efforts and said to me not to worry things will be sorted out lol. Everything i asked for the solicitor made my ex see that it was in the child's best interest. She could clearly see I was a devoted dedicated father. She also kept commenting on how good my contact centre reports were.
She was the one pushing for the fact finding hearing to be vacated despite the judge wanting it to go ahead, as the allegations were serious. But the judge eventually gave in and told them that these allegations must never be brought up in future and declared them officially dismissed.
Part of me wanted it to go ahead as I really wanted to expose my ex for the liar and abuser she really is, but then this comes at a cost, delayed contact progression and ££££ in solicitor fees and most likely still be paying £200 a week to see my daughter, there is no way i would have gone to a fact finding alone while the ex has a solicitor and what good am i to my daughter if i am broke and emotionally/physically drained.
Then i had the other option which was to agree to it to be dismissed and have progressed contact and overnights sooner than I ever imagined and save £££££ in solicitor fees and contact centre fees. Also i have my slate completely clean no allegations whatsoever.
So it's a no brainer which option was better lol
Thanks again for all your help
Hey Craig,
Well done and Congrats.
Even I have my review hearing in a week and I am representing myself. Any tips on preparation and dealing with the Judge ?
Was a Cafcass officer present for negotiation, before the hearing ?
I have a 20 months old son, I am requesting the court for shared residency.
My case is slightly better, even though my ex wanted contact to be for one hour for six months, court ignored it and ordered six supported contact at a contact centre and after that it was supposed to be outside the contact centre, but she insisted on contact continuing at a contact centre. Court also ordered any cost incurred for the contact will be shared.
Cheers
in reply to your questions, CAFCASS was not at my review hearing but they attended previous hearings and produced a report stating that I should have no form of direct contact even though the mother said she was happy for supervised contact. They said no,
In fact CAFCASS recommended that I have indirect contact only, by way of posting gifts and telephone calls, my daughter was only 13 months at this time(a very silly recommendation)
I think they are a bunch of C$£@$ and they stick to the mothers side even with no evidence, thats the experience I and most other dads on here have had with them. Completely bias. i produced so much evidence to CAFCASS but they completely ignored it.
I don't believe they are child focused at all
It was only through agreement with the mother that I was able to have supervised contact. Without her consent I doubt I would have got anywhere as the allegations were still lingering at this time and hadn't been fully addressed. Which is why a fact finding hearing was set.
Social servies in my case were much better and more understanding as they recommended my daughter spends regular time with me and my family as she had done before the mother kidnapped her and made up all sort of lies to every authority she could to try and justify her reasons.
No one was present at my review hearing apart from my ex and her barrister. I was also representing myself. Shared residency will not be discussed until the final hearing and not until you start having overnights.
The court is a gradual process, they will never give you what you want straight away, you have to build up to that point, gathering evidence along the way to prove you are a good dad meeting the child's every need. What reports have been produced in your case? i.e S2/S7 etc.
My suggestion is to go in there head up and let them speak, explain that contact has been going well and you would like to start having unsupervised as it was ordered in previous hearing. Produce a position statement and contact centre report and any other evidence to show judge how well you are getting on with your child before you go in and give copies to judge and your ex on the day. The position statement just needs to outline your current position and the next step you would like to take and why its in the best interest of your child. Again like i stated before my only concern in your case is that you have outstanding allegations that have not been addressed. I think this will be a key factor in you're hearing.
Good luck
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