[Solved] Stay at home Dad (SAHD)

ok, here I go.
don't hold your breath - this might take a while to express...

In hindsight I think the most dramatic change happened for me when I changed down a couple of gears and realised: hang on a moment this (nappies, bottles, screamin, sick, waking when I want to be sleeping) is what I am doing right now. What I mean is that it doesn't matter that the car is dirty, the door squeaks, the garden looks messy, others are out having a chat in a pub over a pint or three. It took a bit over 18 months until I reached that peaceful place. Until then I kept trying to dodge baby so I could do the DIY, race around fixing the bank, car, and generally trying to do EVERYTHING I perceived had to be done.

Now, some 2 and a half years since being full time SAHD (stay at home dad) and I make a point of trying to find a creative way how I can do something WITH an extra pair of hands assisting. I plan to invest in some 'feet up' time to watch short comedy, DVD (Red dwarf, Alien I+II+III). Or have a quick 20 mins on the Wii (shooting zombies while little brains are safely tucked in bed having a nap).

Have a go at mixing flour, butter, sugar, egg - and then do it again with a toddler elbow deep in learning.
Learning what a male role model is, learning about being closely attached to you, learning that it tastes better after it has been cooked.

Another aspect for me is to actively search out other SAHD's - a cuppa while the little ones play is really good. Us blokes talk about such different things, and in such a different way to SAHM's (I guess the term applies). I need to chat with someone experiencing the day to day things so I can metaphrically let out my scream with them and get it off my chest. Knowing they understand the depth of what I'm on about, not judging.

/now off to do a chore before LO wakes
orange

Nice thread Mr Orange.

I have some mates you are SAHD's and they call themselves 'The Lady Men'

its not for the most obvious reasons, but because they just have some hilarious stories and parodies of experiences they've had going to mums and tots, etc as dads.. I only know one of them but he's had me in stitches at the pub...

We did talk about doing a pod cast for the site of some of their stories... hmm perhaps we should re-explore that... Maybe you'd like to contrubute? We're working hard on some vids about masculinity and knife crime right now, and planning some 'sofa events' but drop me a note if you are up for something.

I will drop the "lady man" a line and see if he / they fancy a chatting on the forum to share experiences as you suggest (can't promise it will be today as i have agreed a weekly 'IT fast' with the kids - i'm shutting laptop and blackberry down for 24 hours! I'm actually quite scared of it.... think i will feel naked..... Will post my experience next week... Just got to keep telling myself for the next 24 hours that

IT is a good slave but a poor master

Cheers,

Buzz

Hi Orange man, think you are very very brave. The very concept of being at home all day surrounded by washing & cooking & cleaning in a constant cycle would drive me potty.

Curious, you don't mention a Mrs Orange - is she in the picture or left you holding the baby?

Buzz - wonder how that IT fast is going?

Yep,
Missus Orange is around 🙂 . She does some 15 hours part time work. Otherwise we're both playing with babies.
In fact that brings up other thoughts for me:

• I find myself thinking and saying things like: am I the only one who fills the diswasher; can't you put things away in the kitchen after you use them; why am I always left to (wash clothes, clean the bath, vacuum....). I am amazed at how the drip-drip-drip of daily routine can make one get the sense of being taken for granted.
• There is definitely a learning curve, within our relationship, to manage to keep getting on with eachother. It takes time for the skill to develop [but I guess that discussion would sit under the relationship forum].

In fact, I have discovered how theraputic it can be hearing birds chirping while I hang clothes on the line (as I did yesterday). Again, I think this is about changing down a couple of gears and enjoying the fact that practical and physical work can only go so fast. Hand in hand with the wisdom that I have to do my Single-Tasking in the right order (eg, feed baby first, drink cup of tea, then hang washing in the morning so it can dry all day, gather it back in before the evening).

/Orange

..... would drive me potty.

😀 Are there actually potties on wheels??? Boy - I think a 2 seater version with alloys would be great. Probably a V 8 so that it runs smoothly.

/orange

Anyone feel in danger of becoming a SAHD - given the current economic outlook? I remember 5 years ago when the company I was working for was cutting back and offered voluntary redundancy. I was increasingly discontent with the company, so my wife & I agreed that I should ask to take redundancy, she would scale up to full time working for a short time while I looked for another job, and I'd be a SAHD for some months while looking for another job.

My boss actually denied my request (oh to be popular!), and I got another job and went straight there. But I remember going through the process of accepting that I could go into that role. Not sure now if I could actually hack it - seems far too much like hard work (shh - don't tell my wife I said that 😉 )

I'm looking like being a SAHD if things keep going the way they're going. Hopefully it depends on the situation as to whether it's really all that "SA-D" a situation- I think I'll be able to live with it for a while though, especially if we can get out and do thinks together regularly. Does this happen?

I'm a SAHD (glad there's an acronym for what I do - though I'm not sure its a good one as I am perfectly happy 😉 ), have the rows over homework, make sure my daughter gets to school etc......

Would not consider going back to full time work until my daughter is Uni bound......then I'll need to because the way student funding is going even two full time jobs won't be enough to pay her higher education.

Hi guys,I thought i'd share my experiences on this as im a stay at home dad. I've been looking after my little boy for a year now,we decided it made sense as my wife earns alot more than I did,I could have carried on working but to be honest I would have been working pretty much just to put the lad in child care.

At first I was pretty [censored] nervous and would be phoning the wife loads about silly little things,but I got used to it pretty quick and soon revelled in it. I try and get to the local sure start where i've been made dead welcome. My little boy is on the go all the time so can be very demanding,especially when he's teething and stuff. Some days I get frustrated and can't wait for the wife to get home(I guess that's pretty normal) and take him off my hands 🙂 ) .

I hope I can carry on stayingat home with my boy until he go's to school and I can get a part-time job.

To anyone who thinks there wifes/partners have got the easy part looking after the kids,think again.. 😉 😉

Hi fellow SAHD's.
I am so pleased that there is now a gaggle of us (or is it a herd, shoal or fleet of stay at home dads - I dunno).
WOW !!! How many SAHD's does it take to change a light bulb?? No. Seriously!! I have never seen so many SAHD's in one place.
My current guess-timate is that one Dad would be looking after 3 children, another Dad would be either surfing the net or watching tv and the third would be phoning the missus to find out where the bulbs are.
🙂

SAHD club has got a ring to it. 😀 D It's a shame your not closer Mr Orange as we could have a coffee morning 😉 😉

I might start a thread for a meet up.. ❓ ❓

A coffee would be a scream (literally because my LO has a good set of lungs) 😀
Unfortunately a bit impractical - I can imagine the weary Dads arriving with their LO's screaming their heads off (either the Dads or the children). Having also missed their midday nap (both the children and Dads).
Joking aside, I would so welcome regular time to share with other blokes - with little ones in the background - just time to relax and chat without any purpose.
Last year I managed to meet up for a few months with another local Dad (who I discovered through a friend of a friend) - a couple of times a week until he moved to the other side of the country. They were really relaxing times. Just chatting about nothing in particular - but definitely doing it in a male way.
MrO