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Hi, I coach my 9 year old's football team. There is a head coach and 2 assisting, one of which is me. I'm the only one of the 3 with any previous experience in the game.
My son loves the game and everything about it. He just wants to play as much as possible and we as parents are happy that he has found something he is so keen on doing. He has a very good understanding of the game and is technically very good although his co-ordination and lack of speed hold him back a bit.
Up until recently, he has been playing every game apart from the 'rest weeks' (we have 13 kids for 10 spots on matchdays) and been doing ok. I honestly just want him to enjoy the game above all else, not to get too bothered if they lose etc.
Now for the issue - the head coach at the beginning seemed like a good fella, was happy the kids were getting to play football and rotated the kids so everyone got playing. Gradually his approach has changed to 'we must win' attitude and simply play the 'best' players with the other lads getting some minutes now and again. He also is very negative and vocal at training and during matches, shouting when they make a mistake etc. I kept quiet mostly until a couple of weeks ago until I had to speak to him about it. I said the kids are here to enjoy the game they love, every child deserves a chance to play, it's not all about winning at this age and it doesn't help them seeing and hearing you angry all the time. Needless to say he didn't like what he was hearing, somebody had to say it though!
I had a long think about it afterwards and instead of walking away from the team, I stayed on coaching mainly as I didn't want my son to suffer and leave all the kids without a positive coach. I have to say the other assistant (3rd coach of the 3) just keeps out of things and doesn't say much which is fine. Now though my son has went from playing almost every week to being left out altogether the past couple of games. I can only feel the head coach is punishing him because I spoke up and told him what needed to be said.
To be clear, my son isn't the best player in the team but he's definitely in the top 10 which going by the head coaches plans, will be playing from now on.
I know what I'd like to do but it wouldn't help anyone especially my son!
Any ideas on how to deal with a horrible coach like this?
That must be very hard for your son who probably doesn't understand why he's playing less often. Perhaps the three of you can have a chat to discuss this and find a way forward. Keep it amicable and use the time to talk about other issues too. The other possibility is to find another club! I wonder how the head coach was appointed if he doesn't have previous experience. Its great that you support your son with his interests and I'm sure he values the time you spend together.
@dadmod3 The head coach was the first parent to volunteer as at the time no one else stepped forward so fair play to him for that at least. The other coach and myself started helping shortly afterwards.
I have thought about another team and it will have to be an option.
The head coach is extremely stubborn and thinks his way is the only way. He has fallen out with quite a few other coaches at the club for various reasons too. I just hope I can hold my tongue!
The only reason I'm there is for the kids, I love that it includes spending precious time with my son. To be honest I'd be happy with what ever activities he wants to do and will accommodate as much as I can. Football seems to be his passion though!
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