[Solved] social services ripped family apart. help please!

The only reasons they have. I crashed my car into a wall 2 years ago well before my daughter was born after an argument with her about going to scans. She wasn't present at the scene of the crash and no one was in the car however because it is after an argument it is seen by cs as DV. Then when my daughter was 2 months old, my aunty brought back people from the pub. I was out and received phone calls and msgs from the lads she invited back saying they were going to kill me and they had my gf and daughter etc . I came back and was accused of getting a knife and the police took me in on affray but was released without charge. My gf was in bed through the whole ordeal and my daughter was staying at my cousins house that night. Then a couple of months ago my gf was ringing me saying she wants us to be a family etc 2 weeks after cs ordered us to split up. The cs then found out and ordered her not to speak to me so I continued sending her messages saying I love and miss my daughter and miss hr etc and my partner got me done for harrassment which I have been charged with and have court later this month. Thus must have been cs ordering her to report the messages on top of her sister who I haven't got on with since she messaged my gf saying she hopes out baby dies. My daughters mum has moved to a different town so is probably easily persuaded and told what to do because the only person she has there is her sister. I don't understand why I can't have access either I was getting supervised access when it was dealt by cs in my area but when she moved the new area decided to advise against contact and they even told me that they don't do contact anyway. I'm guessing they are advising against it because it means more work for them supervising it. All sessions went well and I was told there is no issue with my parenting taking care of my daughters needs. It's absolutely ridiculous.

And I couldn't be more honest if I tried let's be serious why would I waste my time on here if I was lying about anything that wouldn't get me very far. I'm a decent person and my daughter is missing out not only on me but a very good family with my mum her partner my grandma my sister who has kids my aunty all of which have done a lot for my daughter and her mum. Iv not once blamed any of this on my partner or ex partner I don't even no what to call her the last time I actually spoke to her like I said she wanted us to be a family. I could go on and on all day but I have work tomorrow this is my only day off its a joke I'm sick of it.

Thank you for replying.

The most important thing for you is to get contact with your daughter.

I know other people have advised you to go to court to get an order for contact and I also believe this is the best option as you will be adopting a positive attitude where you will be able to move forward, albeit slowly but it will mean you are moving forward instead of standing still which is the position you are in now.

There seems to be one authority saying one thing another saying the opposite. Your Ex saying she wants you to be a family and even marry and the next minute taking out a non molestation order against you for harassment. There is no wonder you are frustrated. You cannot dismiss what has been said and done to you but what you can do is take charge of yourself and be active in doing something positive, in an appropriate manner, to get contact with your daughter by applying for a Court Order for Contact. It is a slow process for all fathers who apply to the courts for access, for some it takes longer than others because more reports are required in some cases.

Your Ex has quote, "got you done for harassment" so you cannot rely or expect any support from her, can you? When you go to court on this charge, be honest, stick to the facts, tell them you regret sending so many messages and that you would like to apologize and it will certainly not happen again.

However much we disagree with any system, particularly if we think it is unjust, we can do very little about it other than to discover how it works and then use what we learn to our advantage.

It is my own personal opinion but I think you should give serious consideration to going to court to get access.

I have give consideration in going to court.
What is the child protection plan for if they don't allow anything to move forward once there reccomendations have been abided by. The court process is not the only route. I will bide my time continue to go to work save money for my daughters future and stay out of trouble. They can't hold my past on me forever.

If nothing is sorted out at the next meeting I have with them il be using the complaints procedure.

As you say the court route is not your only option. I wish you all the best with the one you have chosen.

I expressed my opinion as I believe a judge's decision over rules all others. The fact there seems to be an amount of ambiguity between the authorities plus the uncertain stance your Ex is taking, I thought the truth of why you cannot get a decision regarding contact would be made more apparent and that a judge would be more decisive about contact with your daughter.

I'm with MoaF on this, whilst it's not your only option, I think its your best option to get contact going again.

If you are looking at the complaints process might I suggest that you do a little research about the local Authority that you are complaining about, this can be done via the OFSTED website, where you'll find inspection reports, they may be under an improvement order in which case this would be something that you could use as evidence of poor service.

I agree a judge has the overall decision, but I would rather go into court after social services have the facts right and they influence in the fact I have made progress as I have rather than them making out in court I am not a responsible father and im a danger to my child etc which isn't the case at all. I can't live with no contact, but I couldn't live with little contact either when I know I deserve 50/50 contact. I lived with my daughter and if I was lucky enough to get every other weekend unsupervised I still would not be happy with this.

Sorry I'm at work I had to cut the reply short

I have had a look at some recent ofsted reports which have shown poor service. What help is there available when making a complaint? There are so many things I am unhappy with some of which I may have shared with you guys and much of which I haven't, and I doubt very much they will be dealt with in house to to standard expected as cs won't hold their hands up from the information I have gathered. Are there any services that help.draw up a complaint and advise on what grounds a complaint can be made. I was thinking about not going to the cs with a complaint at all and just posting my story anonymously on social media and possibly the local paper in the area dealing with the case then maybe it will be looked at properly instead of them trying to cover themselves.

If you go to the media before trying the proper channels, if you do end up in court, a judge would not look favourably up on you and it could also impact on your harassment hearing. In the eyes of the court, you have proper channels available to you to resolve this and you are actively choosing not to pursue them.

Looking at this realistically as you want contact to re start asap - the quickest way to get this moving is court and everyone who has answered you says the same thing. If you went to see a solicitor, they would advise the same too.

It's not just you missing out on contact, your child is too and not making an application and letting this drag out is not in her interests either.

If you take this to court, you would have a hearing within the next 6 weeks and likely get an interim order for supervised contact while the court carries out a report. Inconsistency from the two local authorities would, in my view, not sit well with a court.

The best thing you could do for yourself and your daughter is

1) Submit a court application forthwith

2) Start the official complaints procedure with CS at the same time.

3) Speak to your local MP for support as you would need them to refer you to the Parliamentary Ombudsman if the CS complaints procedure doesn't lead anywhere.

If your ex really wanted any contact to take place I doubt she would have applied for a Non Mol and would have probably offered you contact in a centre rather than none at all.

You need to start being realistic here rather than tying yourself up in knots, you would probably find you felt a lot better if you were doing something pro active to move this forward.

How am I not pursuing my options. I'm being advised not to take it to court yet because cs are not doing their job properly. I haven't had any assessments, everything that has been asked of me is done. However although contact has not been suspended so they say they are advising mum not to let contact occur. The reason why they first became involved has even recently been dropped by the police, I wasn't even charged it was ridiculous, yet cs haven't said nothing about this. It's a simple matter of its not what you know it's who you know. I could do a better job as a care worker myself. Also I haven't heard anything regarding a non molecular it was a couple of months ago the cs said to me mum was seeking legal advice regarding this. Cs accidentally let me bump into mum at the last conference and when she was being told her daughter would not have contact with her dad anymore she was crying her eyes out, so u don't thinks it's fair to blame it all on her. I'd probably have your view but I know how her family who haven't bothered with her for years work and mum is easily persuaded by them to do exactly what they want.