[Solved] social services ripped family apart. help please!

Hi There,
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I think the advice above, about letting your ex dig herself a hole and yoiu ensure you are being straight throughout is good advice.
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I've said this before, but I will again, SS don't act and split families up unless there is someone telling them there is an issue, I know they can be over the top at times, but I think they must have been told something by your ex to make them act as they have.
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I don't think your ex is being straight with you about what she is telling them and maybe hiding behind blaming them for everything. I may be completely wrong, but for the action they have taken I suspect I could be right.
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So if you play the system to the letter, do everything by the book, if your ex isn't being straight with you then it will all come out, by being as staright down the line and following everything you have been told to do, it will help your case no end if and when you end up in curt.
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GTTS

But the last thing i want is my daughter taken off her mum, i could have said alot however i havent because of this. I have been in the cells for three days and charged with harassment for messaging her, but i havnt said anything bad at all just i miss them and want to see my daughter and what its doing to me. I regret this so bad now as it has made thing 10 times worse. She knows this, i wouldnt mind but the last time i spoke to her she was sayin she wants us to be a family etc i only thought she wasnt speaking to me because of social services. Her sister has made things seem worse than what they are to her i think. She must think i hate her or something but iv only wanted whats best for them both since day one and to be a dad to my daughter, even still.

H there

This is a setback for you....it was extremely unwise to text her and whether you want to believe it or not, she must have reported the text and made a complaint to the police for them to lock you up and charge you.

You yourself know it was wrong to contact her as you regret it badl, I understand why you did it but as you say you have undone the work you have already put in. Take some time out now and do not contact her again. You will have t deal with the harrassment charge and then you can start to deal with the situation with your child again.

I'm sorry and I know you're struggling but you are playing the long game now and it's going to take huge effort and lots of patience.

So theres basically nothing i can do until iv been court at then end of september? I cant cope anymore

...there's not a lot you can do right now, let things settle and give it some time. I'm sorry that you are back to square one but don't give up....I said you were going to need a lot of patience and that even more true right now.

When you are 5-6weeks away from the court date for the harassment charge you could make an application to the family court for a child arrangements order. It will take that long to get a court date once you submit the application so hopefully as soon as the case is over you can go straight into court to start the process to get contact with your child.

In the meantime try and keep in contact with the Social worker and ask to be kept up to date with how your daughter is eating on, hopefully they will help you with indirect contact and progress reports.

All the best

I would echo Mojo's advice, I'm sorry this has set you back but as has been said - you are playing the long game now.

If you are feeling like you can't cope, it might be good to get some support for yourself - counselling through the GP or maybe look for a Families Need Fathers meeting in your area. Talking face to face with people can help you come to terms with what is going on.

https://fnf.org.uk/help-and-support-2/local-branch-meetings

I've done all that. The new social worker doesn't even answer her phone. There a joke. There stopping me be a dad for sending a few messages saying a miss my daughter. There just having me over iv done everything else I can and more. Had an ambulance last night getting heart problems il be dead before I see her.

You need to take care of yourself - you are no use to your daughter if you aren't fit and healthy, and as difficult as it is to think about yourself for the moment, that's exactly what you need to be doing. Go and talk to your GP - make sure he knows the situation if he presecribes you anything so that if it comes up in court, then there's nothing you are taking that could give your ex ammunition.

I've been to the doctors, and referred myself to the self help cbt , as advised by my probation worker. She said I'm showing symptoms of depression. Will this go against me? Of course I'm depressed but so would anyone else in my situation. I'd be better tomorrow if I was seeing my daughter, so I don't need any tablets and I won't ever take anything like that anyway. I have been spending time with family and taking up old hobby to pass time, and that helps for the moment but the stress is overwhelming I can't wake up at a reasonable time I've had 3 different jobs in the past 3 months. Iv always worked but I'm finding it impossible. The social worker told me yesterday they don't even do contact sessions they just advise whether contact should take place lol. A couple of weeks ago she was saying they do contact 6 weeks at a time and then assess it, so there contradicting themselves. She advised me also to seek legal advice,;but my old social worker said they wasn't allowed to advise me and with this harassment charge I'm not sure now is the right time to apply to the court or whether it would be a better idea to wait

Glad you have been to the doctors, please try to look after yourself.

For now, just try to be patient and wait for the court hearing.

You can try calling Coram for free legal advice

http://childlawadvice.org.uk/

Which court hearing? I am being patient but still after 3 months I cry every single day I just want to see my little girl and it will take 6 months just to get to court

I thought you were a few weeks away from the hearing for the harassment charges and Mojo had advised you to consider submitting a C100? I would echo that advice so that you at least feel like you are helping the process along.

It won't necessarily take 6 months, you might be able to get an interim order for some sort of contact at the first childrens hearing.

I feel for you as to how hard it must be right now but as we have all said, unfortunately you are playing the long game. It might help to see a doctor or a counsellor in the short term to help you.

Once you have made an application for contact, you might start to feel better and have something to focus on.

Keep at it.......