[Solved] social services ripped family apart. help please!

I didn't get done for harrassment it was a lesser charge the court said, It was based on 1 message which wasn't a threat or anything like that. It was on fathers day & i I received a fine
Thanks.

There's nothing to stop you applying to court so that you could hopefully start supervised contact after the first hearing which if you applied today, would likely be in 6-8 weeks time.

You could pursue a complaint against CS once court is underway or finished with. Miles quicker than waiting for CS to back down which I doubt they will without order of the court.

You can either agree to the child living with the mother and spending time with you or apply for shared residence although that doesn't necessary mean half the time. To be fair, there's not much difference between the two in terms of the contact you are likely to achieve as a reintroduction.

Thanks is it possible I could get shared residence with what has been going on. I'm going to put a complaint in as well as apply through the courts and in the meantime focus on work. It's difficult!

Whether you get shared residence would initially be something the court would ask the mother to agree to, or failing that, it would be a court decision and that would be up to the individual judge to decide.

For now, I would focus on getting some contact and worry about the final decisions on residence toward the end of proceedings. Your daughter hasn't seen you for quite some time and that is the key thing that will concern a court and is the most immediate issue.

Forgot to say. Concentrate on getting your court application in and deal with the CS complaint later as the court decisions could add weight to your complaint. In addition, being likeable in court goes a long way. If you start out being confrontational and making complaints, it could paint you in a bad light. Get your application in, get some contact sorted then deal with the complaint. All of it is very hard work so break it down as to what is most important first and then deal with the rest. You have to be able to work and get through these issues at the same time, why make it harder for yourself than it needs to be?

Thank you, I have filled out the application form today after work, with my probation officers help. I have had 2 supervised contact sessions since she moved away on the 17th may and both were said to have gone very well and that I can cater for my daughters needs.

What positivity could possibly come out of a complaint?
My social worker said I should base the complaint mainly around them not engaging fathers. However there are many other things I'm unhappy with on top of this main issue.

Hello jkickerk,

You ask quote, "What positivity could possibly come out of a complaint?" I don't understand what you mean by this question.

You have been saying you are going down the complaints route, are you asking what the positives will be if you lodge a complaint? If so, I think it is impossible to answer as we on here would not know the details of your complaint or how you would present it and if we did, we do not know what the CS know, their policies or how they would react to any complaint made against them

I think Yoda's last message to you contains, in it's entirety, very sensible advice.

Hi There,
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I'm really glad you are apply to the courts, I think this will be your best option to get things moving and see your daughter.
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When you are going through court, you need to be seen to be jumping through hoops, and that everything that has been asked of you has been done, you will need to show some remource for sending messages when you were told not too, and explian that it was the pressure of not seeing your daughter and your enotions that forced your hand.
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With respect of making your compliant against SS, as Yoda has said, this may not go in your favour with the judge, the courts will ask SS for in put, and from the sounds of it, they will try and paint you as a trouble maker, so you need to show the opposite in court, and jump through every hoop they place in front of you. You may not feel like being polite and making statements like "I understand that they were just doing thier job" but in doing so it will paint you in a good light and help your case no end.
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Once everything is sorted you then can make the decision whether to pursue the complaint or drop it, if you make the complaint during or before the court hearings you will be giving SS proof to back up what they are saying, however if you wait until after the case and can prove them wrong then as Yoda has said it will add weight to your complaint.
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The most important thing now is getting your relationship back on track with your daughter, concentrate on what you need to do for that to happen, if it means biting your tongue in court and saying a few things about SS you don't really believe then do it, and then deal with SS afterwards.
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GTTS

I'm not lying to make the social services look like there doing a good job in court. Il be saying it how it is in a polite manner. At the end of the day im doing everything I can I'm jumping through the hoops and because the ss haven't bothered to do their job is the reason I am even taking it to court. They are in essence passing the book over for the court to make the decisions because they don't want to.

Hi There,
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It's your choice how you handle court, but honestly if you tow the line and keep things about contact and not about SS then you will get much further much quicker, and the judge will look at you in a better light, it's always best to have the judge on your side, and not upset things, It may leave a bitter taste to not highlight SS's failings but if you keep those issues out of the court room and leave them until after you will get on much better, plus as already said if things go well in court then you will add weight to your complaint against SS.
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GTTS

I understand where your coming from. I haven't got a clue what to expect at court court you shed some light please. Thanks

Hi,
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Court isn't as bad as you would expect, you will probably have a cafcass interview before the hearing to gather info, and you may meet with them before you go into the court room on the day also, this may be with your ex or seperately.
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The initial court hearing will probably be more fact finding than anything else and you will both get chance to speak and air your issues and explain what you are looking to achieve, if you haven't submitted the application yet, ensure you ask for an interim order to be made at the first hearing so that you can see your daughter as soon as possible.
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Court could go any number of ways and it is impossible to predict as it's down to each judge on the day, you may be granted supervised contact to start with and a plan to increase to more time and un supervised, as time goes on, or they may award you unsupervised from the start.
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The main thing as I have already said is to keep the judge on side, when you talk, talk about your daughter seeing and having a relationship with you rather than you seeing your daughter, focus everything from her view and not yours as it's your daughters best interests that the court will be looking at, so for example if you said....."I haven't seen her for 5-6 months and I have missed out on having a relationship with her" you are making the focus on you, so change that too......"she hasn't seen me in 5-6 months and she has missed out on having a relationship with me", it's small things but hopefully they will help.
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Also keep calm throughout, even if something is said you don't like, take a deep breath and count to ten before you speak, you will be judged on how you behave in the court room and if you can show yourself as calm and collected, then you will get much further.
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GTTS