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[Solved] Not Calling me Daddy

 
(@mjtefc9)
Estimable Member Registered

Evening all !

My little fella is referring to me as Mark when he is with her.. he is only three. and I know she is getting him to call her partner Daddy.

When he is with me its great he reverts back to Daddy.. I don't really know how to handle it ?

I have had it put into the court order she is not allowed to refer to me as Mark to my son and it must be Dad or Daddy ? and she has signed this off..

Any suggestions.. I think its terrible she is doing this, as all it does is confuse the little fella..

I know when he is older it will be different.. but its heart breaking when he calls me Mark.. I only get to see him every three weeks, but speak to him every week.

Thanks in advance

Quote
Topic starter Posted : 27/08/2014 7:10 pm
(@dadmod4)
Illustrious Member

That's tricky. Personally, I would just gently correct him when he's with you, without making a big thing of it. My ex has always referred to me by my first name to my children (I think to try to disassociate the fact that I am their dad) and I've always referred to her as mum when speaking about her (rare now). My kids knew the difference and to be honest it hasn't made any difference - my elder daughter started calling me by my first name when she was about 17 as that's what her friends called me, and it became something of a joke, so she still does sometimes. Ultimately, I don't really care - the relationship I have with them is what counts, and I'd advise that you concentrate on that and make sure he has a good time when with you. A rose by any other name, etc etc...

ReplyQuote
Posted : 28/08/2014 1:56 am
mjtefc9 and mjtefc9 reacted
(@mjtefc9)
Estimable Member Registered

Thanks mate,

Its tough, and your right, I just need to concentrate on the quality time we have together..

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 28/08/2014 11:10 am
(@dadmod4)
Illustrious Member

Good.

Of course, it doesn't mean you ex is right, because she isn't - nor was I condoning her actions.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 30/08/2014 10:40 pm
(@Badgerdom)
Estimable Member Registered

Hi Mjtefc,

Agree with ACTD on this one.
I understand where you're coming from as mine do it, and my ex's BF is referred to as "Daddy".
Whilst it does hassle me slightly that he has "the title" without earning it - it doesn't really bother me so much anymore.

I always refer to their mother as Mum or Mummy when talking about her, and refer to her partner by his christian name when required.
My situation is slightly different though, as I have stepchildren also... They would sometimes slip into calling me Dad or daddy, and because their Dad is in the picture (one of those rare amicable agreements) we came up with an alternative of "Daddybear" This way they can call me something other than my christian name, without encroaching on their relationship with their Dad. My kids have picked up on this and are beginning to adopt it in the same way. While not "Dad", it certainly feels better to me than my kids calling me by my first name.

BD

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Posted : 24/09/2014 3:26 pm
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