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Hi... I am new to this forum and there might be a completely obvious answer to this question, but I was eager to ask anyway 🙂 )
I was wandering if I had any 'rights' when it came to me finding out how my monthly maintenance is being spent/used by my child's mother?
My ex-partner and I have a private agreement in place (w/o CSA) where I pay her monthly 'child maintenance'. She has always claimed that the money was used to pay for nursery/school services, but recently he has stopped going to after school, and since then she has been very cagey as to how/what the money is being spent on - each time I ask about it she either gives me different figures or just tries to shrug off the subject? I'm not convinced it is being used for my child's upbringing. Do I have any 'rights' to requesting proof of, or just to simply know, what the money is being used for?
Hi JJF,
I'm not an expert on Child Maintenance but I don't believe you have any rights or say regarding how the money is spent. You have a private agreement in place and how your ex spends the money is up to her.
If you think you maybe paying too much then it might be worth checking the maintenance calculator on the CSA website (you never know it maybe less money) - you can check it without putting in any details that Identify you. Or if you want some unbiased expert advice you can call DadTalk's friends at Child Maintenance Options who have a helpline and provide impartial information and support to parents regarding maintenance. The number is 0800 988 0988 or you can try their website
I hope this is of some help mate.
Gooner
Hey Gooner (Am I right in presuming you are in deed a Gooner of the 'Arsenal' variety!?? 🙂 ) I like your style, I like your style very much!)
(Cough Cough) Back to matters in hand... Yes I contacted CMO last night and they weren't very helpful - in fact hey were helpful, but couldn't really comment on the 'legalities' in terms of my rights in asking my ex for proof of maintenance usage. And I guess I can understand their 'no comment' response, as they don't know my circumstances and could only advise that it was up to the mother's discretion as to how she should spend the money.
I do think, however, that this is a very controversial subject that is tinted more grey than clear black or white! Not to imply that all mothers (sorry, I should say, Primary Child Carer!) mis-use their maintenance income provided by their ex-partners, BUT, I do think the system should be reviewed whereby the PCC should be made to provide clear indications as to how the CHILD's monies are being used. And that is exactly what we pay money for - it for the upkeep of the child, it is not for the intended use of the PCCs out there to rip off and spend the money to satisfy their thirst for a lavish lifestyle - which sadly does seem to happen all too often. The CMO and government should really look at this in more detail to make it much more transparent than what it currently is. Oh well 😕
I think that if the CSA had to consider proof of use of maintenance, they would get through only a handful of cases a year, and that would be unfair on everyone. The 'simple' formula allows them to fast track the bulk of cases, and there is a variation system for exceptional cases.
This doesn't mean I don't agree with the idea in principle - when my children lived with my ex, it was clear (especially in hindsight) that she wasn't spending anything like the money I gave her in maintenance on the children, let alone contributing an equal amount towards their welfare.
Perhaps there should be a 'childrens credit card' set up in a divorce, to be used solely for the childrens welfare (including paying towards gas, electricity, clothes, holidays etc) and the court or CSA then decide what proportion of the monthly bill each parent pays based on circumstances.
Hey Gooner (Am I right in presuming you are in deed a Gooner of the 'Arsenal' variety!?? 🙂 ) I like your style, I like your style very much!)
Hi JJJ - yup i am very much a gooner of the 'Arsenal' variety - followed them through the good and bad for 30 odd years 😉
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