[Solved] my introduction/fathering issue

Hi again 🙂

...Have you talked to your ex about the problems this will pose for you? As you have her so much it will impact on her too.

Have you thought about going for Residency? As you mention drugs and other issues, this might be worth considering.

hello yes have tryed to talk to my daughters mum, i tryed to arrange time that we could talk but she would not answer her phone. eventually i said i would be coming roung the next day and she txt back saying come round tuesday 12:00. so i did, i went there with my mother to meet her and her partner who she has to younger children with but they were not there. i called and she said she was on the way back from shopping, 20 minutes later she turned up with partner but they were both angry saying its not a good time will have to do it another. then stormed off inside there house, i decided to give up talking to them as it seems like they dont want to listen.

yes i have thought about going for residency but i do not have any proof of drugs or other things as it is all things i have herd 3rd party around my town. it is quite a small town in somerset and i herd about things from various people. i no her mum and what she is like and no she gets up to that type of thing but again no proof or evidence. 2 weeks ago i picked my daughter up from school short notice, had a txt saying can i pick her up its urgent sorry. which is not unusual anyway. as walking home her nephew who i get on with told me that her partner had moved out and was staying at his because my daughters mum went out the night before did not come home. what i herd was that her mum was out with 2 friends drinking/drugs and decided to get more cocaine either for her and friends or for sombody else. dont no for sure. her friends apparently followed her to address without my daughters mum knowing attacked her n pushed her out of way attaked dealer. (all of this i herd from various people so dont no exactly what happend remember) herd something like my daughters mum chased these apparent friends off along with dealer or something but unsure. her partner is obviously stuck at home looking after my daughter and other kids while he is out doing this, eventually she came back in the morning (tuesday) 7 30am. my daughter needed to be in school at nine o'clock that morning, apparently her nan took her that day to school and came round in the morning to find out what was going on. her mum was i a bad way and could apparently unablr to take her to school. her partner was obviously not happy and moved out that day, i found out later that day about all this. this all happend 2 weeks ago

last week i herd these people(ex friends) stopped in there car had argument with my daughters mum while she was with my daughter and her 2 other children. what i herd is that a bottle of mustard/youghrt/mayo or something was thrown and hit one of the other children n not my daughter on the leg. she was not badly hurt but was apparently covered in it. my daughter told me this

her mother has now said they are thinking of moving as i said and i am obviously worried but am unsure of what to do, pretty much what has happed last couple weeks

Hi

Its a tough one...apart from the issues that have happened recently have you been concerned for your daughters well being before, or are you happy with the care she receives generally.

It might be that they want to move just to get away from this recent "trouble". This has happened with my sons ex and drugs were involved. she was talking about moving to get away but the dust settled and it was forgotten.

You could try taking your concerns to the Social Services if you feel your daughter might be at risk...if things are being thrown at the children and abuse going on around them, that would be classed as a risk.

You could take your concerns to the police and report the incidents to them.

You could ask your ex to attend Mediation, this is where you would both attend a mediation centre and talk through the issues with the guidance of a trained mediator. There is a fee for this but if you are unemployed or on a low wage you might get help with this. Heres a link ~ www.nfm.org.uk

yes have always been concerned, always worried if she has picked her up from school, or got her there on time. does not read with her at home, write in reading diary, help with homework, she has not been to a parents evening for about 3 years. her mum is very irresponsible and this has always been an on going problem. i sometimes dropped my daughter off on a sunday n picked her from school the thursday and she would still be waring the same underwhere. lots more things have happend, so many i find it hard to remember them. i spend everyday worring. have thought about mediation but her mother is very stubborn and will not agree or compramise on anything no matter how i go about it. i dont no if mediation would really help and am obviously worried about costs. i do work weekends and do think i am entitled to some if not all help(legal aid). have a solicitors appointment 4th december(my birthday unfortunately) but do not no what to expect or what information i should bring with me. i do not think she would be moving soon as finding a new house and changing schools would obviously take time especially as they also have animals. i have expressed to the school that i am concerned. also her teacher did ask to speak to me because my daughter had said her mum got beaten up and they were also concerned. i told him all of what i herd and he aid would have to pas infomation on but since then they have said and done nothing. her teacher is very supportive of me but obviously neutral but did say i should phone ss, i did they said as it is not happening around children, ie shes out doing it that theres nothing they would do even when i said about having a responsibility to get her to school that next morning. basicly felt they fobbed me off

also after the incedent where something was thrown i did phone police, they went to her house to see what was happening and then called me to say a youghrt was thrown and all seemed to be ok. the officer said he would look into what was happening with the people involved in the area. not spoke to them since but her mum did have a go at me for calling police, she said i dont want to be a grass or something. at the end of the day my daughter comes first and if something is thrown in her direction i am going to phone.

...I do understand how frustrated you feel, reading your posts reminded me so much of what was happening a couple of years ago to my grandson. Its all neglect but its what they call borderline, and just not quite bad enough to be taken seriously, even though the childs well being is affected. We want so much better for them dont we...

My advice would be to have as much contact as you can, and continue to monitor the situation. It might be helpful to write everything down, keep a diary of everything that concerns your daughter, your ex and her family... conversations you have with teachers, SS or police, with dates and times. In fact make a record of absolutely everything. Keep all txts and emails and whenever you telephone SS or police ask them to log the call. This will be helpfiul if you were to go to court in the future.