Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
I am a single Dad of 4 that works full time to support my home and children.
Both my sons have autism (16 and 5) and I also have 2 daughters one of which I am not permitted to see with the exception of my ex partners home which as you can imagine is highly uncomfortable for me and my other children (from a separate relationship) when visiting.
Despite regular on time agreed financial payments and no history at any point throughout our relationship of any derogatory, violence or police involvement. No that the relationship has finished my ex has determined I am a bad father even though many friends, my other 3 children and people I know would disagree. My heart is on my sleeve and the reason I live and breathe is for my children however not being able to see my youngest daughter is the hardest thing on earth!!
I am very diplomatic and despite resolutions to meet a compromise to allow me to take my own daughter out etc.... this has proved futile and even mediation will not work even though we have seen no mediation professionals yet. My only option is court however I have read many times that mediation must be used first which is impossible so I am kind of going around in circles?
Any advice other people can give to me in this situation?
you need to attempt mediation progress to court - if it goes nowhere quickly (or she refuses to attend) then the mediators signs off the relevant form and you can then progress to court, so it shouldn't be an issue to try it.
As actd says, if mediation fails, or she refuses to attend, the mediator will sign the form to enable you to make an application to court for a Child Arrangements Order.
You can make an appointment with the mediator and discuss what the issues are and leave it to them to write to her to ask her to attend. Here’s a link to mediation services
www.nfm.org.uk
There’s lots of info about the court process in the stickys at the top of the legal eagle section, it’s worth having a look to give yourself some idea of what to expect.
If it gets as far as court, you have the choice to instruct a solicitor, or to self represent, we have many members that have represented themselves with much success and if that is your choice, we will do what we can to advise and support you. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to ask.
All the best
hi, you should attempt mediation ASAP. depends on different situations. i had monster ex who cut all contact. i did not even tell her about mediation lol. why waste time on a brick wall? i attended MIAM assessment on my own. mediator just signed me off to make court application, as he was convinced trying to get her to mediate would be complete waste of time and i need to see kids.
... if the mediator feels that mediation would be inappropriate they will sign off the forms... you do get some sticklers that will hold out to speak to both parties, before agreeing to signing mediation off.
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.