[Solved] I cannot imagine a more bizarre situation

Hi Mac
What exactly does she want you for, if she doesn't want you in the BC or be at the birth?

Do you actually love her? If I were in your situation I would walk away, yes her family will say you look the bad one abandoning them but people don't know both sides of the story and what goes on behind closed doors, how she treats you!

If your depression is worsening your obviously not happy

The access part and your mental health will have no affect, that was prior to the child being born!

I am not in the same situation, nor was mine as bad, but I did walk out on my ex because I had had enough of her alcohol abuse. Her family despised me because I walked out, but in honesty, why would I care about the opinions of such people - they have no effect on my life. Over time, some of her family came to realise that I wasn't the person that she had painted, and that I cared a lot about my kids (I went for residence a couple of years after the divorce - that was pretty much [censored]) and I now occasionally communicate with some of her family on a friendly basis, something I never thought would happen. It does take a lot of time, but ultimately, my own wellbeing was the most important thing initially, and once that was sorted, I could concentrate on my kids.

Thanks for your replies guys. I left again this morning, the day before she's due to be induced :0( I just couldn't cope th the mind games over the last week or so, my depression went through the roof. I had to leave.

I've just been through a similar scenario! not a nice place to be 🙁

To be honest you are best off out of it, by that I don't mean deserting the child, apply for a contact order after the birth to see the child

My Ex mentally tortured me for the last 5 months of her pregnancy

Basically the hormones turned her in to a Psycho [censored] from [censored], and that's putting it nicely

She had a history of mental illness but wouldn't admit to the way she was behaving during her pregnancy

I couldn't do or say anything right! She turned in to someone I didn't know & like

Just focus on keeping yourself sane & happy as the main priority

You can't change the way she behaves or feels so don't bother

If you want a relationship with your child then go via the courts

Thanks Loddy for your reply. She just plays so many mind games and its all about control. I was losing the plot there and I absolutely wanted to be around to support her through labour, but the situation was just so horrendous I was feeling desperate and having bad thoughts.

She also threatening to blackmail me and lose me my job.

Im really struggling, the tank is completely empty :0(

My Daughter is 2 months, 9 days old today & I found out her name for the first time today! love her even though I've never seen her 🙂

As Fathers we are classed as nothing if we are separated

My Ex has claimed I'm an Alcoholic, Violent Drug addict......... but I still manage to run a successful business some how???

Prepare yourself for the worst as she will try & destroy you & lie about everything (It's the type of personality they are)

I'm in Court on the 19th Feb to gain a contact order, hopefully the judge will see through her lies

Anyway, keep a record of everything & go via the courts

Mack, I feel your pain.
I experienced the same problems as yourself. I ended up being a prisoner in my own home virtually, I'd be asked to go out an errand for her then be accused of being up to all sorts whilst I was out. Coming from the one who funnily enough cheated in our relationship!! The controlling even carried on to my place of work, phone calls at lunch to make sure I was at me desk!!
The hardest part is walking away for the last time, I had on numerous occasions walked away but always got drawn back with the emotional blackmail about me not being allowed to see my son/step-daughter.
All we can do is look towards the future and hope that we get as much time with our children as is reasonably possible.
Lucky you for actually losing weight during it all, I comfort ate so my weight rocketed up, it is a nightmare trying to shift it!!

Hope all goes well for you on the 19th Loddy and you finally get to see your flesh and blood. I am still waiting on a letter through the post from the courts and it is killing me!!

Hi Loddy

How the [censored] are you coping? I'm going through [censored] and just about holding it together. For all I know my child has been born, but I'm the bad guy. I know I had to leave as I was literally going insane and age was wrecked by the arguing. But of course the moment you leave it's the whole walking away line and exclusion follows. I really hope things go well for you in the long term and stay in touch.

Stuart

Hi dr thanks for replying. The control is awful I don't know what they get from it. I was far from the good guy and has made plenty of mistakes but what I couldn't cope with was being forgiven one minute and the past thrown back in my face the next! I was also made to feel guilty for having major depression. Even documentation from my social worker stating how unwell I was and how stress made me worse, made no difference to her.

Why do they have to be this way? This should be about the child not us. I have no doubt now that she will slander me, exclude me and make life as difficult as possible.

Take care of yourself , I'm starting a meditation course today to see if that helps me keep it together. ;0(

Stay in touch.

Stuart

Hi Loddy

How the [censored] are you coping? I'm going through [censored] and just about holding it together. For all I know my child has been born, but I'm the bad guy. I know I had to leave as I was literally going insane and age was wrecked by the arguing. But of course the moment you leave it's the whole walking away line and exclusion follows. I really hope things go well for you in the long term and stay in touch.

Stuart

Hi Stuart,

To be honest I don't know how I've coped! I think having never seen my Daughter it has made it slightly easier, if you can understand that

I had to walk away from the relationship as it was making me extremely unhappy & I know I wasn't the one causing it

She constantly accused me of being a liar & a cheat to which I constantly proved to her was untrue. I've not bothered looking for a relationship with anyone else since & to be honest she's put me off women

I've found that going via the Courts she will have to prove the false allegations against me are true, which will be fun listening to in Court

Hopefully both our situations will get better!

Keep positive & remember to be there for your child

I've not bothered looking for a relationship with anyone else since & to be honest she's put me off women

There are some real gems out there, and they are in the vast majority. There are always going to be a few bad apples (and that applies to women, men, dogs, cats... you name it) .. the trick is to learn from your mistake and move on 🙂