Thanks for joining us on the forum – glad to have you here. You are welcome to post 24/7 but please note that whilst we have forum moderators we will only be moderating the forum during office hours. If though you need urgent crisis help, please contact Samaritans on 116 123.
Spurgeons and Dad.Info doesn’t investigate reports of abuse or neglect. But below, you can find advice on who to contact if you have concerns about a child or young person.
Reporting a concern
It can be difficult to know what to do if you think a child is at risk. It’s important to remember that if you’ve spotted things that don’t seem right, others will have too. Speaking up can make sure that child gets help as soon as possible.
The sooner you contact your local children’s social care duty team, the quicker they can act. They’re available 24 hours a day, and can make an anonymous report if that feels safer. If a child is in immediate danger, please call the police straight away by dialling 999.
Report child abuse or neglect to your local council
Use these links to get in touch with your local council:
We split while she's pregnant and she made it clear I will have as little contact with the baby as she can arrange. She certainly won't give me anything above what a court orders her to do so and as I won't be allowed to be at the birth (something which I can begrudgingly agree with) it could be many months before I see my child for the first time. She has also made it clear that the child will be brought up her way, with her values etc and neither I or any of my family are to buy or send clothes, toys etc as they'll all be binned. I expect birthday and Christmas cards to go the same way.
Anyway as it could be a long time before I spend time with my child what do I do to help create a bond with him/her when I will have such little and negligible influence on their formative years?
Hi,
Spend as much time as is possible with your child and be there to support them.
I know that it feels like your influence will be little but dont bet on that.
What I mean is that your child will remember the time spent, youd be surprised what they do remember.
Be the reasonable, kind, gentle man that they will remember and do as much with them as is possible as shared experiences will bring you together and create the bonds.
We go to the beach, parks and swimming and have other plans for the holidays. Even just being around the house with them doing your thing, they will pick up your ways and learn from you.
Be there and be as much a part as possible.
Regards,
Dave
Hi there
There's not a lot you can do before the baby arrives, but once that happens I wouldn't waste any time getting contact sorted out.
You could then try mediation and if that is rejected you can apply to court. If she refuses to put you on the birth certificate you can apply to the court for that too.
When the baby is very young and dependent on the mother contact would be in in short bursts, but as baby gets older you should expect contact to increase. This can be address in the contact order.
Best of luck
Cheers guys.
I have experience of bonding from the 10 years with my daughter so as the child gets older it won't be a problem, I have plenty of ideas there, my worry and concern is during the early years. The ex won't be going out of her way at all to encourage a bond so whatever access time I am granted will be need to be used very wisely.