[Solved] Do I see my son enough?

you said it yourself you have a strong good bond with your son, you are working to support him and that's sadly is all you can do

when my two lived with me I would leave at 6am in the morning not get home to gone 5pm do their dinner bath and bed so about 2 hours max with them, then at weekends I was doing up my house and also doing other jobs for people so I really didn't get to see them very much and when I did it was just to feed them, bath, bed etc which after a little while it really wasn't enough but like you having to work, I managed to change my hour's and made sunday my family day etc but now my two don't live with me I see them at the weekends and once during the week , that is their time we really enjoy just being together doing stuff we have much better quality time than when I was with my ex, something I have learnt as I now have a nearly 2 year old daughter with my wife

I am not trying to say this is happening but I did have my son & daughter every Friday - Sunday for three years and my ex was still not happy with this as she said it wasn't enough she had weekend free plus only works very part time, I realised I was spending much more quality time with the children than her and this I am very grateful for but it was not her doing it for what was best for our children but what was best for her,

the important thing is you have a good bond, you are doing all you can and seeing him when your not working,

Hi There,

I don't think it is down to how much time you spend with your son but more the quality of time you spend with him, as said if you tried to see him more you have to ask yourself if it would be of benefit to him as you would be tired, it would feel very rushed.

So I say don't worry, and don't beat yourself up about it, you are seeing him as much as work allows and we all have to work to pay the bills.

GTTS

I hope you dont mind me interjecting but regards quality and quantity of time.

What are the thoughts on the child spending as much time as possible even if it is short?

My thinking is the child gets to see day to day life and not just the good times and treats.

Obviously if it is between shifts then fatigue is an issue and may not be condusive but just wonder in general?

Regards,

Dave

I would like to pop in more, it's just difficult. I work for the emergency services so my shift times are very antisocial, not only that but the hours of overtime doesn't help. Fatigue is a major issue as I'm so tired before and after work I can't even do the things I need to do in my own time because I'm catching up with rest.

I know how it can be with house jobs and fatigue.:)

Then it sounds like your spending what you can with him.

Why fix it if its not brocken? Your doing fine I think.

Regards,

Dave

I agree with the above - it seems that your ex is being quite supportive, and not obstructing contact at all, so it may be that you need to discuss the limitations with her.

I would say 10/11 good quality days a month (thats a third) is vdery good. Even if you see your son daily (as I do) its only 2- 3 hours a work day, including tea, homework, bed time etc...works out at about 6 full days plus weekends. We have to work. Fact. You have a good bond. Glass is half full not half empty...