Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Hello all,
Does anyone know a link to a contact book example or know what should be in written in one?
The reason why I ask is that currently my ex seems to be using ours to be very critical after my visits I.e how unsettled he was at childminder, how he had diarrhoea, how he didn't sleep etc. And I am very concerned she is using this as evidence to go back to court and try and reduce the weekday contact visit.
It is not written in the order to write in the book should I just stop?
J
Hi,
My partner and his ex use a contact book, except his ex hardly writes anything when we actually want to be updated on things such as what child is learning to do i.e writing their name, learning to read so we can encourage the same at our house and have consistency between the childs two homes.
If we dont have anything to communicate we always put a little summary:
We had a busy/quiet weekend, child was fine all weekend, child has been bathed and in pjs. OR if child hurt themselves, just make the other parent aware and say please keep an eye on it. Doing that just covers you and it is important to communicate.
Maybe you can ask why they seem unsettled and what your ex suggests to prevent this happening in the future and/or just write how they were in your care and that way you have already covered yourself by saying what they have been like.
These things shouldnt be taken as digs or shouldnt be seen as an opportunity to dig at the other parent but to communicate the childs wellbeing.
I think its important to communicate so personally I would just write a response by saying how the child was in your care and asking what they suggest.
If the response is something like they had diarrhoea you just need to respond by saying how they did/didnt have it whilst in your care and did/didnt eat anything to cause that effect and if the mother could update you on the situation when they start to get better etc. Shows concern and shows you are looking after your child properly.
Hope that helps, that what we do in our situation.
Hi There,
I agree with the above, use as suggested and just answer what she has written asking how unsettled, and how long it lasted, and when you are writing your notes talk about what they have eaten, ect
GTTS
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.