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[Solved] Child arrangement order

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(@petesbox99)
Trusted Member Registered

Thanks I will give that a look over because atm socail say I'm good for the baby but wont commit that to writing for me

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Topic starter Posted : 23/10/2019 6:33 pm
(@dadmod2)
Illustrious Member

Court is my only option but the legal advise I'm getting from 3 different solicitors all say the same thing unless I can somehow convince socail to back my legal action the courts wont give me any merit as they will just say socail are doing their job by placing a protection plan on her

i see. courts will acknowledge the protection plan, but reason your going to court is to get contact with baby. in my case there was newborn baby, but no protection plan. just for access. they ordered ex to give me a room at her place, to sit with baby every saturday lol.

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Posted : 23/10/2019 9:01 pm
(@petesbox99)
Trusted Member Registered

One day a week wouldn't be enough for me. But if I go to court it would be for full custody the ex cant be trusted even socail wont allow her to be alone with kids always has to have someone around

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Topic starter Posted : 23/10/2019 10:46 pm
(@FathersRight)
Eminent Member Registered

This does not make sense. How many other children does your ex partner have and who are they with?

SS job is to safeguard the child. Why are they leaving a child with an unfit mother?

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Posted : 24/10/2019 12:34 am
(@dadmod4)
Illustrious Member

They will generally try to work with the resident parent to improve the circumstances rather than take a child away, and to keep an eye on the welfare of the child for as long as they think is necessary.

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Posted : 24/10/2019 3:50 pm
(@petesbox99)
Trusted Member Registered

That's pretty much what they told me
My argument is this is now the third time socail have had to step in against her and they are still resisting actually doing any action despite admitting emotional harm has happened and a case can be made for physical harm but no hard evidence so they are simply sitting back and watching as the kids suffer

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Topic starter Posted : 24/10/2019 5:33 pm
(@petesbox99)
Trusted Member Registered

Your guess is as good as mine I've had the common sense approach the whole way though this ordeal
They agree risks are to high not to be involved with mother and agree abuse has already happened. However there stance on it is we will support her to get her through it.
Ok fair enough if this was the first time and a cry for help but this is the third time they have had to step in and get involved in under 2 years so my argument is how bad does the abuse have to be before they say enough is enough

I gave them a statement they couldnt/wouldn't answer
They say kids at risk with mother but not at risk with me so give me the kids fix mother and then we can discuss this properly seems like common sense to me but they just looked dumbfounded and basically told me kids are better with mother than farther the system is set up so mother gets everything farther gets [censored] on

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Topic starter Posted : 24/10/2019 5:39 pm
(@FathersRight)
Eminent Member Registered

We guys have to learn the hard way Social Services and courts are not there to help families. Please sign this petition

https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/257930

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Posted : 25/10/2019 3:04 am
(@petesbox99)
Trusted Member Registered

Yer I found that one out the hard way

So last night out the blue the ex calls me up offers me to be at birth and have pretty much unlimited access eventually leading to 50/50 contact

But I cant help but feel this is a trap I cant escape from the whole pregnancy shes refused my access and rights. Now socail are involved and I've got solicitors involved she suddenly has a massive change of heart and backs down on everything she ever said to me. Now shes over 2hours away from me making contact very difficult and costly I fear if I go I'm going to basically be strung along until she is free of socail then cut from my childs life not being able to afford courts. It all smells a bit fishy to me but I feel it's a no win situation if I go I become emotionally compromised so if she does pull the plug down the line I'm left broken. If I dont go it looks bad on me from socail and courts if it inevitably ends up there. What do you guys think?

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Topic starter Posted : 25/10/2019 10:56 am
(@FathersRight)
Eminent Member Registered

Mate, what happened to your ex other kids and how old are they?

Text her and if she calls you in than go, this will cover you she invited you and you are not stalking her. Hospital is a public place with cameras, just be on your best behaviour. I always believe in dialogue as there is no other ways for guys. SS are disgusting, dirty and lying creatures, they will always cause issues and [censored] stir. They will not be happy with this and try to create more trouble. You have to fill in your ex that you are working in her and the child interest and it is SS who are playing games.

Good luck

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Posted : 25/10/2019 1:53 pm
(@petesbox99)
Trusted Member Registered

Her first born was taken away and adopted
Second born has been on protection order since birth now 19m and shes now not aloud to be alone with him
3rd born due on 29th (mine) socail are determined to keep baby with mother despite recent and past abuse

I dont feel as though I can go I'd be playing i to her hands she has something planned unsure what but to suddenly backtrack after months of defiant denial of access now I'm suddenly aloud unlimited access like [censored]
Issue is if I go she wins whatever game shes playing if I dont go socail look bad on me for it
But shes now miles away and expects me to be able to drop everything and just go unfortunately I cant do I'm aware it's my childs birth and I should be jumping for joy at the prospect of being allowed back in but shes to smart to just give in like this and I cant trust a word she says I have to be so careful due to socail being involved I wrongly assumed they were on my side as they had stated then I read the report basically calling her a useless mother yet still they protect her

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Topic starter Posted : 25/10/2019 5:09 pm
(@dadmod2)
Illustrious Member

hi,

you should just focus on the child. after all you just want to see the child. its a difficult situation. since my breakup, i received all kinds of stupid advice from people close to me. like if ex is going to make life difficult for me and make me go to court (££££)to see kids, then i shouldnt bother see kids. or because she ran off, dont see the kids, and let her feel the pain and hardship of raising kids on her own. none of this stuff is in interests of children. also you would not want that child to grow up and think you didn't give a [censored] and never saw him/her. ex didnt want me present at birth or to even go there later to hospital. if i were you i would make the effort to be with the child.

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Posted : 26/10/2019 3:06 am
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