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[Solved] An Update on my new daughter and the ongoing mess!

 
(@strugglingon)
Estimable Member Registered

Hi all

Well after much pleading and begging my partner allowed me at the birth and I now have a beautiful baby daughter. I live her so much already and would happily die for her.

However my situation has reverted to normal. :0(

Throughout the hospital time I had my past thrown at me, criticised, bullied and controlled. I moved back into care for them for a period while she recovered from nasty Caesarian but the situation is reverting to normal.

As I mentioned before she is refusing to put me on the BC because it will quote 'give me custody'! I've tried everything to explain this is not the case but some half baked advice she has had is making her dig her heels in. According to her shell put me on there when she sees fit!!

Personally I find this an utter disgrace, as one of the proudest things for me would be to see my name there as the proud father, and of course also knowing that I have all the rights associated with PR.

I know that if she refuses to do it I should walk because it a utterly being controlled. However the thought of walking from my daughter is killing me. I've never known such an overwhelming love as this, but I know that it would be the relationship I'd be walking from not her.

I also know that despite all her protestations of fairness if we were to split for good, she would 100% revert to exclusion and threats as has been the case in every other instance.

I'm utterly depressed by it all. Life is ebbing away on a broken relationship but leaving my daughter doesn't bare thinking about.

It's becoming unbearable frankly and an existing depressive illness is getting steadily worse.

As always, any advice would be great.

Thinking of all you decent guys in such rubbish positions.

Stuart

Quote
Topic starter Posted : 05/03/2014 10:08 pm
(@Loddy)
Estimable Member Registered

Congrats first off on having a Daughter

You need to start Court proceedings for a contact order & parental responsibility if the Ex is playing up!

I have to agree that it's a disgrace you're not on the BC, I'm not on my Daughters. What normal woman wouldn't put you on the BC.......

I'm afraid you'll have to come to terms that thing's aren't going to go the way you want them too

My Ex is doing everything she can to stop me seeing our Daughter! don't think I'll ever find out her reason

These type of women are mentally ill I believe & it's at total waste of time trying to reason with me

Hopefully one day the Courts will acknowledge that some Mothers aren't mentally fit to be a proper Mother

ReplyQuote
Posted : 05/03/2014 11:02 pm
(@mr-slim)
Famed Member Registered

Stuart ,

I've been there mate trust me I know how you are feeling I was suicidal it's an absolute horrendous situation to be in, at least you were there for the birth cherish it and cherish anytime you get to be with your girl, unfortunately My ex had my daughter without telling me and I didn't get to see her until 5 weeks later.

Please get it together man your daughter will always need a strong Daddy who's willing to fight for her when she grows up she will want to know you have fought tooth and nail for her, I've wrote my girl a letter each week so she knows how much I love her and how I'm fighting for her, I'm sorry to say but loddy is right go straight down the court route if you can't afford a solicitor then represent yourself like me.

I'm sorry you're going through this no man should it all to common and a disgrace.

Take care mate and keep your chin up man 🙂

ReplyQuote
Posted : 05/03/2014 11:38 pm
lawson and lawson reacted
(@Loddy)
Estimable Member Registered

Stuart ,

I've been there mate trust me I know how you are feeling I was suicidal it's an absolute horrendous situation to be in, at least you were there for the birth cherish it and cherish anytime you get to be with your girl, unfortunately My ex had my daughter without telling me and I didn't get to see her until 5 weeks later.

Please get it together man your daughter will always need a strong Daddy who's willing to fight for her when she grows up she will want to know you have fought tooth and nail for her, I've wrote my girl a letter each week so she knows how much I love her and how I'm fighting for her, I'm sorry to say but loddy is right go straight down the court route if you can't afford a solicitor then represent yourself like me.

I'm sorry you're going through this no man should it all to common and a disgrace.

Take care mate and keep your chin up man 🙂

Agree with the above!!!

That's 3 of us in the same situation, Must be hundreds in the UK going through the same as us

Stay strong guys as one day are children will know the truth

Good luck to all Fathers having to deal with a mental Ex

ReplyQuote
Posted : 05/03/2014 11:42 pm
(@dadmod4)
Illustrious Member

You can apply to court to get PR - to be honest, at the moment I'm not sure that I'd worry about it because I think all your efforts should be spent on making the most of your time with your daughter and I'm not sure that the lack of PR will have any practical effect just yet.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 06/03/2014 2:19 am
(@lawson)
New Member Registered

Im sure there is a way of requesting a DNA test via court then she has to put you on BC yes ?
Definitely can apply for PR via court.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 11/03/2014 2:19 am
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