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Hi All,
New to the forum so just a little background info... I have a 4 year old daughter who I love to pieces and I have been split from her mother for a year now. The reason me and her mother split was due to the fact I found out she had been talking very intimately with a muslim man from her work and actually converted whilst we were still together. Now this was an extremely difficult time for me as you can imagine and this lead to our split but I have learned to live with it...
I know have a new partner and see my daughter 3 times a week, it was very difficult not living with her at first but it has become much easier to cope with...
Now this is where I am really stuck between a rock and a hard place, when my ex got pregnant with my daughter I was actually planning to go travel the world and had a significant amount of money saved to go do this, after I found out I was having a child I then spent this money on getting us a place to live and stuff for the baby etc... my new partner and i have recently come into a lot of money and the wanderlust has struck me again. Talk of taking a year out of work and travelling the world has been a focal point recently and everything is lined up perfectly... apart from the fact I would be leaving my daughter for a year... i keep telling myself she will be fine and out bond is so strong this wouldn't break it and I would skype her every day... but it still makes me feel absolutely sick thinking about not seeing her for that amount of time I really do not know what to do... this is my life ambition and it's the only opportunity I will ever have to do it... am i an awful person if I do this 🙁
I certainly don't think you are awful for wanting to do it, but I really think that at the age your daughter is at, you are really going to miss out on a quite crucial time of her life, and I think you could really end up regretting it.
Have you thought about changing the way you do this - perhaps instead of taking a year long trip, take a series of shorter trips, maybe up two or three weeks at first, and extending to a couple of months later on, and arrange with your ex that each time you return, you have your daughter for a few days?
Even if you just fly back to where you left off after you've seen your daughter, it still gives her that continuity with you.
Hi,
I agree, you shouldn't not do something, but as actd has said you will miss out on a lot, as much as it won't be quite an adventure, taking shorter trips could work, you could have a rough plan of where you want to go and take late deals as and when the mood takes you, you still have a year off and still travel but in between get to see your daughter.
Also doing it this way if your ex agrees you could possibly even have some trips away with your daughter.
GTTS
Hi there
I take a slightly different stance. I think you should go for it!
I barely remember when I was 4 and with modern technology you can keep in constant contact, also sending gifts home from each destination you visit. Take a photo of yourself at each place with a sign saying lots of love to my beautiful daughter with her name. This would make a lovely album for you both after your travels are over.
My Dad worked all over the world and he was away for 6 months at a time, this in the days when there was no Internet or Skype and letters took up to two weeks to reach each other. Yes we missed each other but it didnt damage out relationship, if anything it made it stronger.
If you ask children of people in the Armed Forces or long distance drivers that are away for long periods of time, they would say the miss their parent but often are immensely proud of them and aren't damaged by it... Just my take on it.
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