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hi all and thank you for reading
I have a daughter of 8 years old who from just after birth I split with the mother for these long hard 8 years ive had nothing but trouble with the mother over the times I see my daughter, ive been to mediation and for a while it worked until I changed jobs which included working some weekends. I live 24miles away one way from her house but I never begrudged driving there and back every weekend to pick my daughter up, Problem is that the mother always has a problem every weekend I have her, first she put her into a football team which meant I could only pick up after a certain time on a Saturday after 12 (which sometimes im working till 2pm but I still go straight after work) then she says she wants my daughter back the next day by 12 which means in total I only get my daughter 24 hours which means after she has slept for 8 of them I hardly have time to do anything, my daughter gets so upset when I take her home as she doesn't want to go because she has hardly been with me, my daughter always says her mum asks what ive done with her but because of the limited time I have its hard, then I get abuse off the mother saying im a [censored] dad and I dnt do anything with my daughter and what kind of dad gets a job working weekends, I pay c.s.a and my name is on the birth certificate. May I add I get no extra time with my daughter as when I ask its always a "NO" im just about at my wits end as ive bit my lip for 8 years but im finding it hard to stay calm because of how upset my daughter is with this, we dnt argue in front of her I wouldn't allow but when she wants a chat she talks down to me like im a piece of dirt, only last night I had to walk away and drive off as the way she talk down to me made me sick, at the end of the day im the father, I have my own house and in full time employment so im no thug or scrubber, I cant afford the legal fees of court because I couldn't bare losing all that money to be told I have no rights
is there anyone that could advise me or help me as I dnt know what to do and its breaking my heart knowing my daughter is so upset by the way her mother treats me or uses my daughter against
regards
andy
Hi Andy
I'm so sorry to hear you are having such problems and your little girl is caught in the middle....it's so unfair when a child is used as a weapon in this way.
There are many dads here that like you can't afford the legal fees, they have chosen to self represent and it's very doable. Take a look at the stickys at the top of the legal eagle section, there's lots of info there about self representing and the court process to get a contact order.
It might be a good idea to attend a Families Need Fathers meeting in your area, they offer legal advice and support and the dads here that have attended have found it really helpful. Here's a link to their webpage where you will find details of meetings in your locality.
www.fnf.org.uk/help-and-support/local-branch-meetings
Hi andy,
I've moved your post into the "fathering children" topic area so you may get a few more replies.
As Mojo has said though you don't need to spend lots of money in order to go through court you can self represent and still get the same result or often better than if you had used a solicitor as the judge gets your emotions rather than a dissjointed solicitor.
We can guide you through the legal section as best we can and if you have questions one of us will be able to answer them for you.
I would maybe try mediation again though before you think of applying to the courts as in my experience even if you have attended mediation before the judge will still order mediation especially if you attended a while ago as they feel the outcome of mediation would have been effected by how raw.
If you attend again at least you can show the judge you have tried every avenue before applying to the court for help.
GTTS
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