Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information β open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you β or someone you know β are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
I was having an interesting debate with a friend the other day concerning Father Christmas and realised I needed to find out more from experienced Dads! I would be interested in hearing which of the following courses you chose to take and the outcomes.
1. Bring your child up believing that Father Christmas is true until he finds out, or you decide to tell him, that he is made up.
2. Bring your child up telling him that he is not true and that Coca Cola turned him from green to red in the 50s.
This is how my logic plays out. Option 1 - He enjoys believing he exists etc etc until one day a grumpy kid on the play ground breaks his bubble and he comes home in tears asking you if you had been lying to him etc etc. My concern is that it breaks the trust you have been building etc etc. Not that I expect him to have a nervous break down, but you know what I mean. Or - Option 2. You just tell him the truth from day 1, but he misses out on the fun of believing that the gifts at Christmas really came down the chimney (although the chimney is blocked up) and he is probably too fat to fit down it.
My gut feel is just let him believe it for as long as he enjoys the idea and one day, before Mr grumpy tells him, break the news over a hot glass of milk by the fire place (which has been opened to help develop his belief over the years).
I would appreciate thoughts on parents who have gone both ways and the positive and negative outcomes etc etc!!
Hi Parky
I'm a dad who went down route number 2. Basically for the trust reasons you outlined and the saftey issue too. Let me unpack both those.
Truth - i don't distrust my own parents for spinning me a varn for the first 7 years of my life but i think for me its more about trust at a deeper level. I want my sons to know that i have never lied to them about the core things in life. Is Santa a core thing? Well as a christain i think Christmas is and so its on that premis that i want my kids to know that when i say God is real i am not also saying so is santa and then they find out he isn't.
Saftey - I'm not into wrapping the boys up in cotton wool BUT i think saying its not ok to go places with stranger and then pushing them towards a guy i don't know in a dodgy outfit is a non brainer. Pushing them as in OH yeah santa is your friend and brings gifts and you can sit on his knee and run up to him on the street and hug him, he wonders around the house in the night blah de blah .....
I tell my boys that some parents like to play a game with their kids where they pretend Santa is real.I told them the normal santa, north pole story, as they grow older i am telling them the St Chris story too. I tell them that we should respect other peoples beliefs and in doing so we shouldn't burst the bubble for people who think Santa is real at the moment. I tell them to join in the fun of the game. Thus far they haven't ruined that for folk, but time will tell.
I know some folk say "ah its just a bit of fun get over yourself" but dude my advise is to do what feels right to you and your partner which ever side of the fence that sees your santa fall.
Merry Christmas!!! π
Hi Parky just thought I may contribute to the discussion. I think children have an idea about father christmas as they begin to grow up. I once pretended to be father christmas to my surprise my daughter kept vigil all night as she wanted to be certain she had her first experience of seeing him when he drops the sock of goodies. In the morning she said dad why did father christmas tiptoe the way you tiptoe in the house and i ended having a dialogue with a 4 year old. Kids know it but I am of the opinion that they just take it as a game.I am also sure that there are those who believe in it. But the question is why do we "lie" that father christmas comes :geek: through the chimmneys? even though the house may not have one?
What would you say if your child ever asked you dad have you ever lied in your whole entire life?
<!-- l posting.php?mode=reply&f=25&t=144#<!-- l
:geek:
Just the other week I had the question posed to me by my 4 1/2 year old daughter, "Dad is Father Christmas real?". It was at this point that I realised I had the opportunity to tell the truth of not. I decided to go for the truth, which found me explaining that there was this guy called St Nicholas who was renowned for giving secret gifts to those in need. People thought this was an good thing to do and followed suit. It's now evolved into a seasonal giving festival where some people like to pretend that this guy "Santa" leaves secret gifts for them, and some people take it so far that they think it's true. And then I let her decide how she wants to take it; she likes to pretend, and she thinks Santa is cute! but at least she knows the truth.
P.S. I also felt it important to mention the story of Jesus as this is a part of Christmas that is forgotten in our society, and helps to make the seasonal time a lot less commercial and greed focussed.
I go for the truth option but have fun with the pretending too. You've got to be a bit careful with other kids / parents, though...
I heard of one child who was sent to the head teacher's office for the crime of saying in class that Santa was make-believe! π―
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We donβt like to set βrulesβ, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.